OCTOBER 5, 1963

Full News Archive

• Headline: Violette Verdy Cancels Royal Ballet Performances. Impact: Violette Verdy’s canceled performances led to an unscheduled rise in the popularity of interpretive dance. We can thank her for the endless stream of 'modern' dance pieces about emotions like 'leg pain' and 'disappointment.'. Fact: Did you know that ballet dancers are often mistaken for swans? Just don’t tell the swans—they have a reputation to maintain!.
• Headline: CORNELL INSTALLS ITS 7TH PRESIDENT; Perkins Stresses 'Missions' --Faculty Gets Raise Calls for Reappraisal Allen Sees Critical Period. Impact: The appointment of a new president at Cornell led to a sudden increase in the university's tuition fees. Coincidence? I think not! The 'missions' were clearly about funding their next big coffee machine.. Fact: Did you know that college tuition increases often outpace inflation? That’s right, you can’t have a degree without a side of debt!.
• Headline: INQUIRY ON SECURITY TO HEAR RUSK VIEW. Impact: Rusk’s testimony sparked a series of mildly interesting debates that led absolutely nowhere—reminiscent of family discussions about politics during Thanksgiving dinner. At least this time, nobody threw the turkey.. Fact: Did you know that when politicians testify, it’s often more scripted than a soap opera? And just as riveting..
• Headline: Space: Zone of Peace. Impact: The 'Zone of Peace' discussion led to an unexpected boom in t-shirt sales featuring peace signs and slogans like 'Make Space Great Again.' The fashion world was forever altered, and we're all just trying to keep up.. Fact: Did you know that space is technically a vacuum? Which explains why we always feel empty inside after reading about geopolitical agreements..
• Headline: New Player Pool to Be Set Up for Mets and Colts; Yankees Favored Today; EACH IS ELIGIBLE TO SELECT 4 MEN Choices by Mets and Colts Will Be Made From Lists Offered by Other Clubs Weiss Pleased by Plan A Freeze on Oct. 15 Equal Rights for All. Impact: The new player pool for the Mets and Colts led to an unprecedented rise in bar arguments about who should be on the team, creating a new sport: 'Who Needs Talent When You Have Opinions?'. Fact: Did you know that sports teams often have more drama than reality TV? Someone should really pitch that idea to a network..
• Headline: TENANTS OPPOSE BRONX CO-OP PLAN; Housing Authority Picketed in Rosedale Gardens Move. Impact: The tenant opposition to the Bronx co-op plan led to a series of protests that inspired a new genre of music: 'Picket Rock.' It was as niche as it sounds, but at least the rhythm was catchy.. Fact: Did you know that housing authority meetings are like the Olympics of adulting? Everyone's competing for the gold medal in 'Who Can Complain the Loudest?'.