SEPTEMBER 24, 1963

Full News Archive

• Headline: Mill Basin Seeks Street Improvements. Impact: In a bizarre twist, the poorly paved streets of Mill Basin led to a sudden surge in popularity for rollerblading, which ultimately resulted in the invention of the hoverboard. Thanks, Carroll!. Fact: Did you know that Mill Basin is so charmingly suburban that the biggest crime is running out of bagels on Sunday mornings?.
• Headline: Massive U.S. Division Deploys to Europe. Impact: This airlift operation not only showcased U.S. military power but also sparked a worldwide trend of 'flash mob' military maneuvers, leading to spontaneous war games in parks everywhere. Very Instagrammable.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing heavier than a U.S. division is the baggage they bring with them? Hope they packed snacks!.
• Headline: MEDICAL REVIVAL IN CHINA IS FOUND; Surgeon Sees 'Renaissance of Western Learning' Needles Treatment Tried. Impact: The revival of Western learning in China surprisingly led to the emergence of a new culinary trend: fusion Chinese-Western cuisine, which no one asked for but we all pretended to like.. Fact: Did you know Dr. Penfield was not just a surgeon but also a part-time philosopher? He probably had some wild dinner conversations..
• Headline: Ben Bella to Speed Socialism if France Holds Sahara Test; He Urges Cooperation BEN BELLA WARNS ON SAHARA TEST. Impact: Ben Bella's warnings about the Sahara tests inadvertently inspired the Sahara Desert to start a social media campaign against nuclear testing, resulting in more likes than the last celebrity scandal.. Fact: Did you know that socialism has been trying to find its way into the Sahara for decades? Apparently, sand dunes are not the best at voting..
• Headline: 8 WHITES INDICTED IN SCHOOL MELEE AT BIRMINGHAM; States Rights Men Charged by a Federal Jury With Impeding Integration JUDGE BARES THREATS Decries Efforts to Intimidate Grand Jurors and Himself --Seeks F.B.I. Inquiry Tells of Intimidation 28 Violations Charged 8 WHITES INDICTED AT BIRMINGHAM 'Accused by Both Sides'. Impact: This indictment sparked an unexpected rise in the popularity of school integration advocacy, which led to a series of awkwardly intense conversations in PTA meetings for decades to come.. Fact: Did you know that Birmingham's school melee is often cited as the beginning of the 'we're all in this together' slogan? Spoiler: it wasn’t..
• Headline: 2 TOP U.S. AIDES OFF FOR VIETNAM; McNamara and Taylor Will Survey War Effort to Help Washington Form Policy 2 TOP U.S. AIDES OFF FOR VIETNAM. Impact: The trip by McNamara and Taylor somehow led to the invention of the phrase 'strategic retreat,' which became a favorite among politicians and couch potatoes alike.. Fact: Did you know that going to Vietnam for policy advice is like going to a bakery for diet tips? Just a little misguided, don't you think?.
• Headline: Foreign Minister Denies Charge. Impact: Chalmers’ denial of the Dominican charge led to an international incident where countries began denying everything, including their own existence. Thanks to him, the phrase 'I didn't do it' became a global motto.. Fact: Did you know that denial is not just a river in Egypt? Apparently, it flows through diplomatic circles too..
• Headline: MOTHER GOES HOME; QUINTUPLETS FINE. Impact: The quintuplets' homecoming made headlines, leading to a nationwide trend of families adopting large numbers of pets, unintentionally resulting in an annual 'Pet Parade' that no one asked for.. Fact: Did you know that quintuplets are like the ultimate multitaskers? They can simultaneously make you laugh, cry, and question your life choices..