SEPTEMBER 14, 1963

Full News Archive

• Headline: Detroit Bank Promotes Officer to Presidency. Impact: The promotion of an officer at a Detroit bank led to a chain reaction of similar promotions, resulting in a decade-long trend of employees thinking they could also become CEOs by simply changing their LinkedIn titles.. Fact: Did you know that in the corporate world, getting promoted is just another fancy way of saying, 'Congratulations, you get to work more for the same pay!'.
• Headline: Purolator Ordered to Halt Its Tung-Sol Purchases. Impact: Purolator's temporary court order created a black market for Tung-Sol stock, where investment enthusiasts traded stocks like they were baseball cards. Collect 'em all, right?. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more exciting than trading stocks is trading them under the watchful eye of a federal court? Nothing like a little legal drama to spice up your portfolio..
• Headline: Canadians Seeking To Repatriate Stock; CANADIANS SEEK U.S.-HELD STOCK. Impact: Canadians seeking to repatriate stock inadvertently started a trend of financial nationalism, leading to a resurgence of plaid shirts and maple syrup-themed investment portfolios.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'Canadians seeking U.S.-held stock' is just a fancy way of saying, 'We want our money back, eh?'.
• Headline: DEBATE CONTINUES ON CURTISS OFFER. Impact: The ongoing debate over the Curtiss offer ended up inspiring a reality TV show where corporate executives battle it out in boardrooms for the best deal. Spoiler alert: drama ensues.. Fact: Did you know that corporate debates are basically the same as high school drama club auditions? Everyone just wants the lead role, and there are plenty of tears involved..