AUGUST 29, 1963

Full News Archive

• Headline: Florida Phone Strike Negotiations Underway. Impact: The unresolved Florida phone strike led to the invention of the first truly annoying automated customer service systems. If only they had settled quickly, we might still have human operators instead of endlessly repeating 'Press 1 for English.'. Fact: Did you know that phone strikes are basically the 1960s equivalent of not being able to get a decent Wi-Fi connection? Talk about a major crisis!.
• Headline: The Legacy of Martha Graham's Dance. Impact: Martha Graham's dance not only reshaped modern dance but also inspired countless interpretive dancers who mistook 'expressing emotions' for flailing around at weddings.. Fact: Martha Graham once said, 'Dance is the hidden language of the soul.' So, if you ever see someone doing the worm, they're probably just trying to express their existential dread..
• Headline: Kennedy Champions Civil Rights Progress. Impact: Kennedy's call for bipartisan support in the civil rights movement created a ripple effect, resulting in politicians for decades to come pretending to care about social issues while still focusing on their re-election campaigns.. Fact: Fun fact: 'bipartisan' is just a fancy way to say 'let's pretend we agree while we argue over who gets the credit.'.
• Headline: Article 2 -- No Title. Impact: The mysterious 'Article 2' about bicycles from Tulare, SD, sparked the Great Bicycle Boom of the late 20th century, leading to millions of hipsters riding fixies while wearing ironic mustaches.. Fact: Bicycles were originally designed for transportation, not for making fashion statements. But here we are!.
• Headline: Crowd Hails a Chicagoan Who Skated to the Capital. Impact: The man roller-skating to Washington D.C. inspired a wave of extreme sports enthusiasts who believed that if they could just do something ridiculous enough, they'd get famous. Spoiler: They were often right.. Fact: Roller-skating to the capital? Talk about a commitment! Most of us can barely commit to a Netflix series..
• Headline: Negro Evangelists Rebuke Dr. Graham on Integration. Impact: The rebuke of Dr. Graham illustrated the deep divisions in the civil rights movement, which eventually led to a more nuanced understanding of integration. It might have also resulted in countless awkward family conversations at Thanksgiving dinners.. Fact: Forcing integration might not work, but forcing your relatives to discuss politics at dinner definitely doesn’t either..
• Headline: Ben Bella in Salute. Impact: Ben Bella's support for the march solidified international solidarity, but also caused a few awkward moments when other leaders tried to join in without really knowing what was going on.. Fact: Leaders giving each other salutes is basically the political equivalent of a group selfie, but without the filters..
• Headline: Coast to See Andes Treasure. Impact: The showcasing of the Mujica Gallo collection led to a treasure hunting craze, inspiring future generations to dig through their attics for 'valuable' items that were actually just old VHS tapes.. Fact: Treasure hunting is just a fancy way of saying 'I’m looking for my childhood toys.' Spoiler alert: They’re probably worth more than your current possessions..