AUGUST 22, 1963

Full News Archive

• Headline: NASA Partners with G.E. for Satellite Project. Impact: This contract with G.E. led to the creation of a satellite system that eventually became responsible for cat memes taking over the internet. So, thank you, NASA, for the endless supply of feline hilarity. Fact: Fun fact: That $19 million could have funded a small country's annual budget, but hey, who needs clean water when you can send a hamster into space?.
• Headline: Inclusion of Black Actors in Film Industry. Impact: This agreement led to a slow but steady incorporation of more diverse characters in Hollywood, ultimately resulting in the film industry finally realizing they could cast someone who isn’t just a white male. Shocking, I know. Fact: Did you know that Hollywood once thought it was a great idea to cast white actors in roles meant for other ethnicities? The 'whitewashing' was basically an Olympic sport.
• Headline: Cab Driver's Script Is Bought by C.B.S. For New TV Series; Escape From Wheel 'Hedda Gabler' Shifted Time Grant for WNDT. Impact: The cab driver's script sold for a TV series inadvertently led to an increase in the number of aspiring writers in NYC, many of whom now serve coffee instead of editing scripts. Fact: Did you know that many cab drivers actually have amazing stories? Unfortunately, most of them just end up being turned into mediocre sitcoms.
• Headline: UNDERSEA ECHOES LAID TO JELLYFISH; Scientist Reports on Likely Submarine Hiding Place. Impact: The jellyfish discovery led to a bizarre conspiracy theory that they were actually government spies, which caused a wave of jellyfish-themed protests across coastal cities. Fishy business, literally. Fact: Did you know jellyfish have been around longer than dinosaurs? Talk about survival skills; they’ve been snoozing in the ocean while the rest of us deal with life.
• Headline: CRIME GRAND JURY PLANNED IN QUEENS. Impact: The formation of a grand jury in Queens sparked a tradition of endless investigations, setting the stage for every reality TV show about crime that followed. Thanks, Queens, for the ratings!. Fact: Did you know the term 'grand jury' makes it sound way more important than it is? It’s basically a group of people deciding if they want to take a case to trial while eating donuts.
• Headline: U.S. ACTION SOUGHT ON AVIATION NOISE. Impact: This call for action on aviation noise led to the eventual creation of noise-canceling headphones. So, thanks to the FAA, we can now ignore our neighbors and enjoy our peace. Fact: Fun fact: The noise from airplanes is so annoying that people actually started wearing headphones to drown it out! Who would have thought?.
• Headline: RADIO. Impact: Ernest G. Shinner’s radio segment likely inspired countless people to believe they could also be radio stars, leading to the rise of local morning shows where people just talk about their cats and coffee. Fact: Did you know that radio hosts are basically the hipsters of the audio world? They were cool before podcasts made it mainstream.
• Headline: LANDLORD PAYS OFF $40,000 TAX DEBT. Impact: Jacob Sieberg’s tax payment might have saved his property from foreclosure, but it also sparked a trend of landlords paying taxes on time, which was a shocking revelation in the rental world. Fact: Did you know that paying taxes is the adult equivalent of cleaning your room? Nobody wants to do it, but it’s always better than the consequences of not doing so.