AUGUST 20, 1963

Full News Archive

• Headline: Record Payments Deficit Reached $5.2 Billion. Impact: This financial debacle set off a chain reaction that led to the invention of the 'Emergency Budget Meeting' coffee mug, a necessity for every politician trying to look busy while panicking internally.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing that grows faster than a payments deficit is politicians' excuses for it..
• Headline: Birmingham School Desegregation Milestone. Impact: The approval of the Birmingham Plan not only marked a significant step in civil rights but also inspired a wave of awkward school reunions decades later, where people finally acknowledged their high school nemeses.. Fact: The Birmingham Plan was such a big deal that even the textbooks had to rewrite their history chapters to keep up with the times..
• Headline: The Rise of an Anglican Manifesto. Impact: This manifesto led to a great debate in church history, where the only thing more contentious than the theological disagreements were the potluck menu selections.. Fact: The ecumenical movement supposedly began when someone realized that arguing over denominational differences was less fun than sharing a donut..
• Headline: TALK FAILS TO END INTEGRATION ISSUE IN CITY'S SCHOOLS; Harlem and Queens Groups Quit Meeting at Which Gross Explains Plans BOYCOTTS THREATENED Lack of Timetable to End Imbalance Is Criticized-- Some Approval Given Time Called Wasted TALK FAILS TO END PUPIL RACE ISSUE Some Proposals Acccepted. Impact: The failed talks resulted in a series of protests that led to the creation of the world's longest-running debate club, proving that when it comes to change, talking is definitely not doing.. Fact: The only thing more frustrating than a lack of integration timetable was the inability to find a parking spot at the protests..
• Headline: Liturgical Week Opens. Impact: The opening of Liturgical Week inadvertently set off a trend of annual church potluck dinners where everyone pretended to enjoy fruitcake.. Fact: Liturgical Week is the time when even the church bulletin gets a makeover, just to keep things fresh and relevant..
• Headline: OKLAHOMA CALLED GOLDWATER AREA; Bellmon Also Puts Texas and Florida Behind Senator. Impact: This declaration led to a new trend of political geography where states began branding themselves based on which politician was slightly less unpopular at the moment.. Fact: Oklahoma being called a Goldwater area is a bit like being the least bad option in a buffet of burnt dishes..
• Headline: RIGHTS UNIT SEEKS POLICE-ABUSE STUDY. Impact: The push for a police-abuse study led to numerous reports that not only documented abuse but also resulted in a spike in coffee consumption among civil rights activists.. Fact: Every time a police-abuse study is proposed, somewhere a politician is sweating bullets—because accountability is hard..
• Headline: Blair House Being Repaired; New Guest Residence Set. Impact: The repairs to Blair House triggered a national campaign for home improvement shows, leading to the rise of DIY culture and a million Pinterest fails.. Fact: Blair House repairs are a perfect example of how government renovations take longer than most people's marriages..
• Headline: REDS IN INDONESIA FACE POLICY CRISIS; Party Upset by China-Soviet Rift and Sukarno Actions Malaysia Stand Irks Reds. Impact: The internal crisis of the Indonesian party led to a global trend of political parties holding internal debates that were less about policy and more about who could shout the loudest.. Fact: The only thing more confusing than the rift between China and the Soviets was trying to explain it to your grandparents over dinner..