AUGUST 7, 1963

Full News Archive

• Headline: American Can Co. Employee Film Screening. Impact: This film, while seemingly innocuous, led to the widespread adoption of corporate training videos. Fast forward a few decades, and we have a world where employees are subjected to endless hours of cringeworthy 'team-building' videos featuring awkward karaoke sessions.. Fact: Did you know that the average employee spends over 30 hours a year watching mandatory training videos? That's almost enough time to start a new hobby... or a new career..
• Headline: Brunswick Corp. Omits Dividend Announcement. Impact: Brunswick's decision to skip dividends sent shockwaves through the bowling alley communities, leading to an unexpected rise in underground bowling leagues where the real competition was who could come up with the best excuses for not paying rent.. Fact: Fun fact: If all the bowling balls produced by Brunswick were stacked, they could reach the moon... if the moon was made of bowling alleys and spare change..
• Headline: Approval of Farm Credit Aides. Impact: The approval of these aides eventually led to a series of agricultural innovations. Fast forward to today, and we have genetically modified corn that can practically walk itself to market.. Fact: Interestingly, the only thing more complicated than farm credit is trying to explain how your phone's autocorrect works when texting about it..
• Headline: COLUMBIA APPOINTS 9 SCIENCE FELLOWS. Impact: These appointments triggered a veritable science boom, resulting in the creation of countless research papers that nobody reads but everyone pretends to understand. Today, we still use the phrase 'it's science!' to justify everything from questionable diets to bizarre fashion choices.. Fact: Columbia's science fellows are actually the original influencers, turning quantum mechanics into the next big social media trend. #ScienceIsCool.
• Headline: Director of Heart Surgery Is Named at St. Barnabas. Impact: The establishment of this position marked a pivotal moment in medical history, as advancements in heart surgery have since saved millions of lives. Today, heart surgeries are so advanced that doctors can practically perform them while playing Candy Crush.. Fact: Heart surgery has come so far that the only thing more complicated than a surgeon's job is trying to understand how to operate an IKEA bookshelf..
• Headline: Goldwater Accuses Rockefeller Of 'Guilt by Association' Tactic; GOLDWATER HITS ROCKEFELLER VIEW. Impact: Goldwater's accusations led to a political era where everyone was suddenly guilty by association, making it impossible to attend a family reunion without being accused of supporting your cousin's questionable choices.. Fact: In politics, 'guilt by association' is like that awkward moment when your friend gets caught stealing cookies, and suddenly everyone thinks you’re in on it just because you were in the same room..
• Headline: A CITY HALL SIT-IN BEGIN IN NEWARK; CORE Acts as Court Suit Seeks to Halt Picketing. Impact: The sit-in at City Hall became a catalyst for civil rights protests across the nation, proving that sometimes, the only way to get attention is to literally take a seat where you're not supposed to. Today, similar tactics are used to get out of boring meetings.. Fact: Sitting in can be an effective protest tactic, especially if you’re really tired and just don’t want to stand anymore. Activism: 1, Comfort: 0..
• Headline: Nurses' Director Appointed. Impact: The appointment of a director for public health nursing paved the way for greater recognition of nurses' contributions, leading to the eventual rise of nurse influencers on social media. Yes, the world is now influenced by people who primarily tell you to take your vitamins.. Fact: Nurses are often the unsung heroes of healthcare, but they also have the best stories. If only they could write a bestselling novel about the craziness they witness daily..