JULY 10, 1963

Full News Archive

• Headline: City Plans to Assist Commuters Amid Strike. Impact: If NYC had actually figured out how to ease commuter woes back then, we might have a dimension where people teleport to work instead of sitting in traffic. Imagine the coffee spill potential!. Fact: Commuting by train is basically just a fancy way of saying 'I love being late to work while crammed next to strangers.'.
• Headline: Senators Seek Aid for Displaced Seneca Indians. Impact: The aid for the Seneca Indians could have led to a timeline where indigenous rights were taken seriously, resulting in a world where everyone shares their land and keeps their hands to themselves. Shocking, I know!. Fact: The Kinzua Dam construction displaced thousands, proving that 'progress' often involves stepping on someone else's toes—sometimes literally..
• Headline: Common Market Faces Crucial Challenges. Impact: Had the Common Market fully embraced U.S. farm goods, we might have avoided the current situation where every avocado costs more than your first car. Thanks, Brussels!. Fact: Poultry became an issue, which is ironic considering how many people just wing it when it comes to discussing agricultural policies..
• Headline: PRESIDENT ASKS RAIL MEN TO LET GOLDBERG DECIDE; UNIONS' REJECTION LIKELY; REPLY DUE TODAY Kennedy Seeks to Bar Nationwide Strike at Midnight Tonight Meets Top Negotiators PRESIDENT URGES RAIL SETTLEMENT Railroad and Union Officials Hear Kennedy Appeal at White House Both Sides Adamant Finds Crisis 'Extraordinary' Uncertain About Congress Situation Held 'Critical' Could Forbid Changes Hope for Agreement Quill Denounces Proposal. Impact: If President Kennedy had successfully prevented the nationwide strike, we could have entered a golden age of rail travel, where trains ran on time, and everyone was happy. But then again, where’s the fun in that?. Fact: The whole idea of a railroad union rejecting a proposal sounds like a plot twist in a soap opera. Just add dramatic music and slow-motion shots and we're golden!.
• Headline: RACE SIT-IN BEGINS AT MAYOR'S OFFICE IN A JOB PROTEST; Pickets Stay at Night With Wagner's Sanction--Seek Work in Building Trades Halt in Work Asked RACE SIT-IN BEGINS AT MAYOR'S OFFICE Demonstrators Invited In Project Is Picketed. Impact: The sit-in at the Mayor's office could have sparked a trend of job protests that made everyone realize that fighting for equality is way cooler than binge-watching reality TV—shocking, right?. Fact: Picketing is just a fancy term for 'let's stand around and yell until someone listens.' It’s the original form of social media!.
• Headline: 2-TRANSIT AGENCIES FILLED BY DEMPSEY. Impact: Filling transit agency positions with Dempsey could have led to a timeline where public transportation became the pinnacle of efficiency—so, basically, the opposite of what we have today.. Fact: Real estate tax relief? Sounds like a great idea until you realize it’s just a way for the government to say, 'We care, but not enough to actually change things!'.
• Headline: AIDE OF ASTRONAUTS EXPANDS ON OFFER; Special to The New York Times. Impact: Had the astronauts' representation not expanded, we might have lost the race to Mars to a group of enthusiastic cats. Imagine the intergalactic catnip trade!. Fact: Astronauts have lawyers? That must be for all the ‘space’ disputes that arise when two astronauts disagree on who gets the last slice of freeze-dried pizza..
• Headline: LONDON CLASHES MARK GREEK VISIT; Leftists, Trying to Carry Protest to Royal Couple at Palace, Battle the Police Leftists in London Battle Police In Protest on Greek Royal Visit. Impact: If the clashes during the Greek royal visit had escalated, we could have seen a timeline where protestors became the new royal family—talk about an upgrade!. Fact: Demonstrators trying to reach the royal couple is just a classic case of 'I love you, but I also want to yell at you in person.'.
• Headline: AMERICAN AIRLINES AND UNION SIGN PACT. Impact: The pact between American Airlines and the union could have led to a timeline where all airlines treat their pilots like rock stars—unfortunately, we’re still stuck with the 'fly for peanuts' model.. Fact: Signing a 2-year pact sounds great until you realize it’s basically just a super long handshake. Welcome to the world of corporate romance!.