JUNE 30, 1963

Full News Archive

• Headline: Nixon's Visit to Ex-President Gronchi. Impact: This visit led to an unexpected chain reaction where Nixon's awkward handshake inspired countless future politicians to improve their grip, ultimately resulting in the world’s first pillow-fighting diplomacy summit.. Fact: Did you know Nixon’s full name is Richard Milhous Nixon? Sounds like a name that could either lead a nation or start a cult..
• Headline: New Innovations in College Education. Impact: This headline sparked a nationwide debate that led to the invention of the phrase 'you can’t teach that in school,' which eventually became a rallying cry for those who just didn’t want to learn calculus.. Fact: Fun fact: The term 'liberal education' doesn’t refer to politics, but you’d be forgiven for thinking it’s just an excuse to avoid real work..
• Headline: Queen Victoria and the Profumo Affair. Impact: The Profumo affair led to a society more aware of political scandals, causing future politicians to adopt the phrase 'What Would Victoria Do?' as a moral compass, albeit a rusty one.. Fact: Queen Victoria was such a stickler for morals that she likely would have fainted at the mere mention of social media influencers..
• Headline: Russian Betters Own Mark For Weight Lift in Vienna. Impact: This achievement led to the invention of competitive weightlifting as a global sport, and subsequently inspired countless gym selfies that would flood social media decades later.. Fact: You know it's serious when Russians are involved; they take weight lifting so seriously, even their barbells have a PhD..
• Headline: Composers' Composer. Impact: Brahms’ work inspired future musicians to create music that would be played at every sad movie montage, leading to a generation of emotionally unstable teenagers.. Fact: Brahms was so influential that even today, your favorite sad song probably owes him a ‘thank you’ note..
• Headline: TAX EXTENSION BILL SIGNED BY KENNEDY. Impact: Kennedy's tax extension gave Americans the illusion of extra time to dodge their taxes, which eventually led to the creation of ‘Tax Day Procrastinators Anonymous’—a support group that still meets annually.. Fact: Tax extensions: because nothing says 'I care about your financial well-being' like giving you more time to panic..
• Headline: Time and Place-and Suspense; Time, Place, Suspense. Impact: This headline inspired countless writers to realize that if you just add 'suspense' to anything, you can turn a grocery list into a bestseller.. Fact: Turns out, time and place are just fancy terms for 'where in the world are my socks?'.
• Headline: Maryland Port Aides Named. Impact: The naming of port aides led to an unexpected surge in maritime-themed puns in government meetings, giving rise to a wave of eye-rolls that would last for decades.. Fact: Maryland might be known for crabs, but at least now they have some aides to help with all that shellfish business..