JUNE 17, 1963

Full News Archive

• Headline: Rockefeller's Political Crossroads. Impact: If Rockefeller had just taken a left instead of a right, the entire political landscape might have been different. Imagine a world where he became president, leading to a bizarre twist where oil tycoons ran the country like a corporation. Oh wait, that kind of happened anyway.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'political detour' is just a fancy way of saying 'oops, I messed up my career'?.
• Headline: Diabetes Association Elects New President. Impact: Dr. Sharkey's presidency might have inspired a new wave of diabetes awareness, leading to the invention of dessert-flavored insulin. Because who doesn’t want a chocolate fudge shot?. Fact: Fun fact: Diabetes was once thought to be caused by eating too much sugar. So, basically, we were all doomed from the start..
• Headline: Sheen's Controversial Stance on Patient Care. Impact: Sheen's controversial comments led to a slippery slope where ethics in medicine became a hot topic. This eventually spawned a whole genre of reality TV where viewers vote on life-and-death decisions. Thank you, modern media!. Fact: Did you know that 'compassionate care' is sometimes just code for 'let's not get too involved'?.
• Headline: G.O.P.'CITIZENS' LACK A CANDIDATE; 2-Day Workshop of Group Reveals Wide Disarray Position of Rockefeller Interest In Congress. Impact: The GOP's disarray may have inadvertently paved the way for the rise of independent candidates. A chaotic party is like a circus—eventually, someone has to juggle the elephants.. Fact: It's funny how the GOP workshop sounds more like a group therapy session than a political strategy meeting. 'Hi, my name is Republican, and I have no candidate.'.
• Headline: SOVIET ORBITS WOMAN ASTRONAUT NEAR BYKOVSKY FOR DUAL FLIGHT; THEY TALK BY RADIO, ARE PUT ON TV; PREMIER IS JOYFUL Phones Spacewoman --She Tells World She Feels Fine Saw Colonel Launched Purpose of Flights 'Seagull' and 'Hawk' Soviet Sends a Woman Astronaut Into Orbit Close to Col. Bykovsky for Dual Flight THEY CONVERSE; BOTH SEEN ON TV She Says She Feels Fine --Khrushchev Talks to Her From the Kremlin Lieutenant Replies. Impact: Tereshkova's flight sparked a global interest in women in space, causing future generations to dream big. Who knew that a simple orbital jaunt could lead to women shouting, 'To infinity and beyond!'?. Fact: Tereshkova was the first woman in space, which makes you wonder why it took so long for Hollywood to get around to making a movie about her. Was there not enough drama?.
• Headline: Tshombe, Guarded by Police, Is Treated at Paris Hospital. Impact: Tshombe's hospital visit might have changed the trajectory of political alliances in Africa. Who knew that a trip to the ER could have international implications? Maybe he should have just called in sick.. Fact: Did you know that political figures often need more than just a band-aid? Sometimes, they need a whole new country to fix their problems..
• Headline: Music: Casals Conducts 'St. Matthew'; Brings Company From San Juan Festival Feeling for Bach Work Marks Carnegie Bill. Impact: Casals conducting Bach at Carnegie Hall may have inspired an entire generation of musicians, leading to a world where classical music is considered 'cool.' Or at least less nerdy than before.. Fact: Did you know that if you play Bach backwards, it sounds like a spooky message from the 18th century? Just kidding, but wouldn’t that be a plot twist?.