APRIL 12, 1963

Full News Archive

• Headline: U.S. Advances NATO Nuclear Strategy Amid Controversy. Impact: The U.S. pushing for an atomic force despite French objections somehow led to a series of awkward dinner parties in Paris where everyone was just a little too tense. The fallout? A decade of French cuisine involving more explosive flavors and less trust in their allies.. Fact: Did you know that the French were totally okay with A-bombs... as long as they didn’t have to share their wine with the Americans?.
• Headline: Rail Board Warns of National Strike Crisis. Impact: The emergency rail board's warnings about a strike 'calamity' resulted in a national obsession with train schedules, leading to the invention of the 'Trainspotting' hobby. Who knew that economic crises could inspire such riveting pastimes?. Fact: Did you know that train delays became a popular topic for small talk? Because nothing says 'I care' like discussing the punctuality of your local rail service..
• Headline: Rockefeller Bids Americas Go All Out for Cooperation. Impact: Rockefeller's call for cooperation among Americas led to an endless stream of awkward summits where leaders awkwardly talked about 'working together' while secretly eyeing each other's dessert plates.. Fact: Did you know that Pan-American cooperation often translates to 'let's agree to disagree at a fancier venue'?.
• Headline: AFRICAN STUDENTS LOSING HOUSE HERE. Impact: The plight of African students losing their house sparked a global movement for housing rights that would take decades to gain traction, and yet still, many houses remain just as elusive as unicorns.. Fact: Did you know that losing a house can sometimes lead to finding a new one? But only if you have a generous fairy godmother or a really good real estate agent..
• Headline: G.O.P. WOMEN SCORN GLAMOUR IN POLITICS. Impact: G.O.P. women's disdain for glamour in politics led to a trend of candidates who looked like they just rolled out of bed. This, of course, resulted in a slew of unfortunate fashion choices and the birth of the 'politician-chic' style, which has been haunting us ever since.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'glamour' was officially banned from GOP events? Now the only thing glammed up is the coffee machine..
• Headline: Navy Said to Envision Dives to 20,000 Feet. Impact: The Navy's ambition to dive to 20,000 feet inspired a whole generation of ocean enthusiasts and conspiracy theorists who believed mermaids were real. Spoiler alert: They weren’t, but the Navy's new subs still look really cool.. Fact: Did you know that the deepest dive ever recorded is deeper than most of our understanding of basic math? Just kidding, it’s actually just a lot of water..
• Headline: Senators Meet in Secret, Then Bar Nike Speed-Up; Senate Meets in Closed Session, Then Bars Nike Zeus Speed-Up. Impact: Senators meeting in secret to bar the Nike Zeus Speed-Up led to a series of highly classified discussions about who ate the last donut in the break room. In time, this would contribute to a national donut shortage, causing chaos on Capitol Hill.. Fact: Did you know that closed sessions are often just lawmakers discussing their favorite snacks? Because regular sessions were just too distracting..
• Headline: Open Hearings Undecided. Impact: The indecisiveness around open hearings prompted a nationwide trend of people becoming experts at procrastination. Little did they know, this would lead to the creation of the modern-day 'Netflix binge'.. Fact: Did you know that indecision was declared a national sport? It's perfect for those who can’t commit to anything, including dinner plans..
• Headline: India Loan Approved in Bonn.. Impact: The approval of the $100-million loan to India was the start of a love-hate relationship with foreign aid—one that still has countries rolling their eyes and hoping for more than just a thank you.. Fact: Did you know that $100 million could buy you a lot of things? Like a small island or a lifetime supply of pizza. Just saying..