APRIL 1, 1963

Full News Archive

• Headline: End of 114-Day Newspaper Strike. Impact: This prolonged strike caused such a disruption in news delivery that conspiracy theorists began to believe it was a secret government plot to keep the public uninformed. Little did they know, the real plot was just a bunch of engravers wanting more cash.. Fact: Did you know that during this strike, people actually started reading books again? Shocking, I know..
• Headline: President Planning To Create Council Of Advisers in Arts; PRESIDENT PLANS COUNCIL ON ARTS. Impact: Creating an arts council was like throwing a party and inviting all the coolest artists. This led to a ripple effect where everyone suddenly thought they could be an artist. Spoiler alert: they couldn't.. Fact: Did you know that the best art is often created in messy basements? Just ask any teenager with a can of spray paint..
• Headline: Mayor to Give Plan To Prevent Strikes; WAGNER TO SEEK TO AVERT STRIKES. Impact: Had Wagner succeeded in preventing strikes, we might have a world where workers are just quietly miserable instead of expressing their frustrations through picket lines. What a tragedy that would have been.. Fact: Fun fact: The phrase 'prevent strikes' is an oxymoron. It's like saying 'prevent rain' while standing under a leaky roof..
• Headline: U.S. Curbs Miami Exiles To Prevent Raids on Cuba; U.S. CURBS CUBANS IN MIAMI REGION. Impact: If the U.S. had not intervened, we might have seen a bunch of misguided exiles trying to swim to Cuba—talk about a soggy disaster. Instead, they got a curfew. Much better, right?. Fact: Did you know that curbing movement is a lot like curbing a dog? You just end up with a lot of frustrated barking..
• Headline: Wilson Backs U.S. on NATO, But Favors Changes in Policy; WILSON SUPPORTS KENNEDY ON NATO. Impact: Wilson's support for NATO and push for changes created a butterfly effect where politicians realized they could actually agree on something—if they squinted hard enough. Who knew bipartisanship could happen over international defense?. Fact: Fun fact: NATO stands for 'Not Another Talking Organization'—just kidding, it actually stands for something much less catchy..
• Headline: GUATEMALA RULE SEIZED BY ARMY; BAN ON REDS SEEN; Defense Minister Is Head of New Regime--Ydigoras Arrives in Nicaragua CHARTER IS SUSPENDED Legislature Dissolved and Political Activity Barred-- Capital Generally Calm GUATEMALA RULE SEIZED BY ARMY. Impact: This military coup set a precedent for future governments to think that seizing power was a good idea. Spoiler alert: it rarely is. Just ask the locals.. Fact: Fun fact: In military coups, the first thing that usually gets suspended is the constitution—right after the coffee supply..
• Headline: Sotheby's Prepares to Auction $3,000,000 Fribourg Antiques; Manhattan Millionaire's 18th Century French Collection Is One of the Most Valuable Ever Put Up for Sale. Impact: This auction not only inflated the market for antiques but also inspired an entire generation of hipsters to start collecting 'vintage' items from their grandparents' attics. Thanks a lot, Sotheby's!. Fact: Did you know that the term 'vintage' is just a fancy way of saying 'old and dusty'?.
• Headline: NEWS STRIKE PACT SET IN CLEVELAND; Printers Agree to Terms-- One Union Lacks Accord. Impact: This news strike pact showed that even in chaos, people can come together—unless you're that one union. They probably just wanted to be the rebel without a cause.. Fact: Fun fact: In the world of strikes, being 'the one' is usually less about talent and more about a lack of communication..