MARCH 24, 1963

Full News Archive

• Headline: Castro's Pragmatic View on Missile Bases. Impact: Castro's indifference could have changed the course of the Cold War, leading to a world where Cuba was a hot tourist destination instead of a geopolitical chess piece, and margaritas were the official drink of diplomacy.. Fact: Ah, the irony of missiles being seen as 'strategic thrust' instead of just really bad party favors..
• Headline: TORIES SLIP AGAIN IN BRITISH VOTING; Laborite Retains Yorkshire Seat as Liberal Total in By-election Grows Labor Disputes Liberal Claim Setback Expected. Impact: The slip of the Tories could have sparked a series of British sitcoms that lampooned political ineptitude, laying the groundwork for future comedy legends like Ricky Gervais and John Cleese.. Fact: So, if you’re ever in a political slump, just remember: at least you're not a Tory in the '60s!.
• Headline: Bonn Asking Swiss To Yield Two Men In an 'Israeli Plot'; Bonn Asks Swiss to Extradite Two Alleged Agents of Israel No Official Protest. Impact: This request could have led to a secret society of Swiss agents forming a union, ultimately resulting in a Swiss version of ‘Mission Impossible’ where they only have to deal with chocolate and cheese.. Fact: Because nothing screams international intrigue like asking Switzerland for help while they’re busy making the world's best chocolate..
• Headline: Davey Moore Remains in Coma; Brown Bids State Outlaw Fights; BROWN PROPOSES A BAN ON BOXING Ex-Champion's Condition Is Critical--Move Started to Outlaw Sport Talked to Reporters Beaten at Will. Impact: Moore's tragic situation sparked debates that led to stricter regulations in boxing, ultimately evolving into the safety measures we have today—who knew a coma could be a catalyst for positive change?. Fact: Boxing: the only sport where getting knocked out can lead to a serious discussion about your life choices and the future of the sport itself..
• Headline: SUN IS LOW BIDDER ON 4 CARGO VESSELS. Impact: The low bid for cargo vessels could have led to a future where shipping companies compete so fiercely that they start naming their vessels after mythical creatures, leading to the dominance of the 'USS Unicorn'.. Fact: Because when it comes to cargo, who wouldn’t want to see a unicorn sailing the high seas?.