MARCH 18, 1963

Full News Archive

• Headline: Kennedy's Central American Leadership Summit. Impact: If Kennedy hadn't met with these six Latin leaders, we might have ended up with a Latin America that was entirely different, possibly led by a collective of llamas wearing sunglasses. Seriously, can you imagine the fashion choices?. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more complicated than Central American politics is trying to get six presidents to agree on pizza toppings..
• Headline: Khrushchev's Potato Chip Enthusiasm. Impact: Khrushchev's craving for potato chips sparked a culinary arms race that eventually led to the creation of the first potato chip-flavored vodka. Yes, it really happened. Thanks, Cold War.. Fact: Did you know that Khrushchev's love for snacks was so intense, he once tried to negotiate a peace treaty over a bag of chips? No? Well, now you do..
• Headline: Missouri Buys on Sunday Again As Court Ruling Ends Blue Law. Impact: With the end of the Blue Law, Sunday shopping exploded, leading to a future where 'brunch shopping' became a national pastime. Because who doesn't want to sip mimosas while buying toilet paper?. Fact: Missouri's Blue Law lasted for 137 years. Clearly, Sundays were meant for church and not for buying cheap socks..
• Headline: The Federal Reserve; System's Reluctance to Explain Actions Encourages the Attacks by Its Critics Fed's Reluctcruce to Speak Up Helps Arguments of Its Critics Publicity Is Opposed. Impact: The Fed's silence on its actions inspired a whole generation of conspiracy theorists. Now, there's a whole subreddit dedicated to decoding their cryptic messages about interest rates.. Fact: Did you know the Federal Reserve has a secret meeting every year where they just play poker? Just kidding... or am I?.
• Headline: ALGERIA MAY ACT TO LIMIT OR BAN TESTS IN SAHARA; Weighs Request to France to Revise Pact Allowing Use of Nuclear Center PUBLIC WARNING GIVEN 'Grave Situation' Foreseen in Event of New Blasts --Paris' View Awaited 'A Grave Situation' One Clause at Issue Algeria May Move To Restrict or Ban A-Tests in Sahara. Impact: Algeria's decision to limit nuclear tests in the Sahara could have prevented a catastrophic event that would have turned the Sahara into an accidental nuclear wasteland. Instead, it just remained a hot desert. Phew.. Fact: Fun fact: Nuclear tests in deserts are like trying to bake cookies in a volcano—it's not a great idea!.
• Headline: BRAZILIANS SEEK ENVOY'S OUSTER; Leftists Resent Testimony by Gordon on Communist Infiltration of Nation Foreign Aid Issue BRAZILIANS SEEK ENVOY'S REMOVAL Fields of Influence. Impact: The call for the envoy's ouster marked a turning point in Brazil's political landscape, leading to more instability and an eventual reality show called 'Keeping Up with the Brazilians'—just kidding, but you get the picture.. Fact: Fun fact: Brazilian politics is so dramatic, it could give telenovelas a run for their money..
• Headline: Mother Seton Is Beatified in Rites at St. Peter's; Girl Who Recovered From Leukemia Sees Rome Rites. Impact: Mother Seton's beatification opened the floodgates for countless miracles and saintly claims. You could say she started a trend in the 'Get Your Miracle' business.. Fact: Did you know that beatification is basically the church's way of saying, 'Hey, this person was pretty awesome!'? And they don't even need a Yelp review..