MARCH 2, 1963

Full News Archive

• Headline: Adenauer's Key Vote on French Pact. Impact: This vote set off a chain reaction of Franco-German cooperation that eventually led to the European Union. If Adenauer had lost, we might be living in a world where 'Eurovision' was just a talent show for German polka bands. Thanks, Adenauer!. Fact: Adenauer's confusion over the pact led to the phrase 'I don't understand' becoming the unofficial motto of many subsequent German politicians..
• Headline: McPherson Crowned World Figure Skating Champion. Impact: McPherson's victory inspired a generation of Canadian figure skaters, leading to the creation of an entire species of Canadian Olympians who can do triple axels while reciting the entire national anthem.. Fact: McPherson's near-perfect performance was so flawless that it caused the Dutch girl to invent a new dance move called 'The McPherson Shuffle' - which, spoiler alert, is not a real thing..
• Headline: U.S. Rejects Soviet Protest on Oil Pipeline. Impact: This rejection solidified the U.S.-Soviet rivalry, leading to decades of mistrust. If only Washington had let the Soviets have their pipes, we might have avoided the Cold War. Or at least had a cooler name for it, like 'The Frosty Friendship'.. Fact: This event was the geopolitical equivalent of telling your neighbor they can't borrow your lawnmower; it escalated quickly into an international feud..
• Headline: SHIFTS IN EUROPE DELAY NATO FORCE; Decisions on Polaris Fleet Hindered by Coming Polls and Bonn's Changes Adenauer in Key Role Some Obstacles Noted SHIFTS IN EUROPE DELAY NATO FORCE. Impact: The delays in NATO decisions led to a prolonged period of uncertainty in Europe, giving rise to a bizarre trend where countries started naming their coffee shops after military strategies. 'The Decisive Latte' was a hit!. Fact: Despite the delays, the phrase 'better latte than never' became a popular saying among European politicians trying to stay optimistic..
• Headline: Chinese Say Russia Jams Their Broadcasts on Rift; Aimed At Khrushchev CHINESE ACCUSE SOVIET OF FRIGHT 'Attempt' at Substitution. Impact: This broadcast jamming incident forced China and the USSR into a more public feud, which eventually led to the great 'Who's the Best Communist?' contest that no one wanted to sponsor.. Fact: The real irony is that Khrushchev was probably just trying to watch his favorite soap opera when the jamming occurred..
• Headline: KURDS THREATEN TO RESUME FIGHT; Leader Bids Iraqis Grant Autonomy or He Will Declare Independence First Public Threat Kurds Told to Be Ready to Fight; Iraq Is Prodded on Autonomy. Impact: This threat was a pivotal moment in Kurdish history, marking the beginning of a long struggle for autonomy that continues to inspire other oppressed groups around the world. Sometimes a threat is just the spark needed for change.. Fact: The Kurds' fight for autonomy has been so persistent that they've almost become the unofficial champions of 'saying no' to oppression..
• Headline: Sidelights; R.C.A. Quarterly Raised to 35c Tidewater Stock Call Timberland Proposal Refined Sugar Up Again T.W.A. Looks Ahead. Impact: The raise in R.C.A. stock triggered a stock market boom that made many investors feel like they were on a rollercoaster. Spoiler: they were not wearing seatbelts.. Fact: Refined sugar prices rising means that sweet tooths everywhere were about to face a serious existential crisis..
• Headline: SOVIET RULES OUT TEST NEGOTIATION; Bars Further Detailed Talks on Atom Pact Until West Accepts Inspection Quota SOVIET RULES OUT TEST NEGOTIATION. Impact: By refusing to negotiate, the Soviets ensured that the arms race would continue, leading to a global game of chicken that almost resulted in a very different version of 'Duck Duck Goose'.. Fact: This refusal to negotiate was the diplomatic equivalent of slamming the door in someone's face and then pretending you can't hear them knock..