FEBRUARY 24, 1963

Full News Archive

• Headline: O.A.S. Calls for Action Against Cuba. Impact: The O.A.S. call to isolate Cuba set off a chain reaction that led to a peculiar trend in American tourism where people started flocking to see just how isolated Cuba really was, inadvertently making it a hipster destination. Fact: The only thing more isolated than Cuba at this time was the sense of urgency in the O.A.S. meeting—talk about a snooze fest!.
• Headline: Kennedy Establishes Presidential Medal of Freedom. Impact: Kennedy's establishment of the Medal for Freedom transformed the award into a coveted status symbol, leading to a bizarre reality show where contestants competed for the title of 'Most Contributive American'—spoiler: the winner was always a guy named Tim. Fact: Fun fact: prior to this, the highest honor in America was a gold star sticker for good behavior—clearly, we had to raise the stakes!.
• Headline: U.N. Quells Katanga Uprising; 114 Held After 3 Days of Terror; U.N. TROOPS QUELL KATANGA UPRISING Underground Reported. Impact: The U.N.'s quelling of the Katanga uprising led to an overzealous interpretation of 'peacekeeping,' resulting in a rash of overly dramatic peace-themed musicals hitting Broadway, with 'Cats' becoming a surprising front-runner. Fact: You might think peacekeeping was boring, but those U.N. troops had more drama than a soap opera—114 prisoners and still no love triangles!.
• Headline: U.S. Demands Explanation Of Attack on Shrimp Boat; Shrimp Boat Fired on by Cuban Jets Is Towed Into Key West, Fla.. Impact: The U.S. demand for an explanation about the shrimp boat incident led to the creation of an entirely new diplomatic protocol called 'Shrimp Diplomacy,' which involved seafood platters at every negotiation table. Who doesn’t like shrimp?. Fact: Ironically, the Cuban jets probably just thought they were turning the shrimp into ceviche for a beach party. Talk about a misunderstanding!.
• Headline: Westinghouse Division Promotes 2. Impact: The promotion of Knox and de Cubas at Westinghouse sparked a corporate rivalry that inspired a series of boardroom dramas on television, with each episode ending in a dramatic cliffhanger about who would get the corner office. Fact: Fun fact: 'Westinghouse' sounds like a fancy hotel chain, but it's actually just a place where they play Monopoly with real money.
• Headline: Economy Presents Uncertain Pattern; ECONOMY SHOWS A MIXED PATTERN Reports on Final Quarter Kennedy on Recession. Impact: The uncertain economic pattern led to a nationwide trend of 'economic hand-wringing' where citizens gathered in coffee shops to discuss their financial woes, inadvertently boosting the coffee industry to stratospheric heights. Fact: If only the economy had as much caffeine as the coffee drinkers discussing it—we might have solved the crisis with a little extra espresso!.
• Headline: Sugar Prices Increased By 15 Cents a Hundred. Impact: The rise in sugar prices inadvertently led to a national obsession with confectionery items, resulting in a spike in dentist visits and a generation of kids who thought sugar was their best friend until reality hit hard—right after Halloween. Fact: In America, sugar is the original 'gateway drug'—turns out, it’s not just the kids who have a sweet tooth; adults are just better at hiding it!.