FEBRUARY 12, 1963

Full News Archive

• Headline: New Director at Benrus Watch Co. Elected. Impact: The election of R E Lewis as director at Benrus Watch Co. ultimately led to the introduction of the digital watch in the 1970s. Little did they know, a few decades later, it would be the reason for countless people being perpetually late because they never learned to read an analog clock. Fact: Did you know that the average person spends about 25 minutes a day just looking for their watch? Apparently, time really is money!.
• Headline: Afro-Asian Group Condemns Apartheid Actions. Impact: The Afro-Asian group's unanimous vote for violence was a pivotal moment that led to a series of unfortunate events. If only they knew that this would inspire countless movie tropes and clichés about 'the power of unity' and 'avenging heroes'. Fact: Did you know that the term 'afro-Asian' was later used to describe a popular hairstyle combo in the 90s? Fashion really does have a way of repeating itself!.
• Headline: Britain Will Allow Soviet Oil Imports; BRITAIN TO ADMIT OIL FROM SOVIET. Impact: Britain allowing Soviet oil imports caused a ripple effect in the energy sector, leading to the creation of the world's first oil tycoon who couldn't pronounce 'socialism' correctly. It's almost like they were playing a game of geopolitical chess and accidentally knocked over the board. Fact: Did you know that petroleum was once referred to as 'rock oil'? Sounds like something you’d find at a bad rock concert!.
• Headline: WEST MAY LOWER TEST-BAN DEMAND; Insists Soviet Prove Treaty Can Be 'Kept' With Fewer Than 8 Inspections Soviet Notes Own Concession Area a Crucial Point WEST MAY LOWER TEST-BAN DEMAND. Impact: The West lowering test-ban inspection demands was like a game of chicken with nuclear weapons. It paved the way for future negotiations, where countries would argue over who could throw the biggest tantrum without actually launching anything. Fact: Did you know that the number of nuclear tests conducted is so high that if they were strung together, they would make a very awkward party playlist?.
• Headline: U.S. AND BRITAIN RECOGNIZE IRAQ; SOVIET ALSO ACTS; Soviet Union Gives West a Glimpse of Its Rockets--From a Distance. Impact: The U.S. and Britain's recognition of Iraq was like giving a toddler keys to a car—what could possibly go wrong? This moment sparked a series of events that would lead to decades of geopolitical drama worthy of a soap opera. Fact: Did you know that recognizing a country can sometimes be more complicated than finding a decent parking spot in a busy city? Good luck with that!.
• Headline: U.S. Plans Academy On Foreign Affairs; U.S. PLANS SCHOOL ON FOREIGN POLICY Based on Perkins Report. Impact: The U.S. planning an academy on foreign affairs was like setting up a school for aspiring spies—everyone thought it was a great idea until they realized it just created more bureaucrats. Who needs espionage when you have paperwork?. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more complicated than foreign policy is trying to assemble IKEA furniture? Both require a degree in patience!.
• Headline: BRUCE CO. SHOWS QUARTERLY GAINS; Retained Earnings Reflect Cumulative Operations Comparisons Unavailable. Impact: Bruce Co.'s quarterly gains were a sign of optimism that would eventually lead to the creation of the phrase 'too big to fail'. Who knew a little financial report could make such a mess of the economy later?. Fact: Did you know that retained earnings are like the savings account for companies? Except, instead of buying a new bike, they usually just buy more office chairs!.