FEBRUARY 10, 1963

Full News Archive

• Headline: Vietnam Air Strike and Heroic Pilot's Sacrifice. Impact: Maj O'Neill's heroic act of saving his crew members not only earned him a potential Medal of Honor but also sparked a series of overly dramatic war movies where characters dramatically sacrifice themselves, leading to a Hollywood obsession with 'based on a true story' films. Thanks, O'Neill!. Fact: Did you know that saving two crew members in a war zone is a great way to get a posthumous medal, but doing dishes at home doesn't earn you even a thank you?.
• Headline: New Water-Pipe Plant in Saigon. Impact: The pipe plant in Saigon was the beginning of a long-standing tradition of American businesses trying to capitalize on foreign conflicts. Eventually, this led to a popular reality TV show called 'Survivor: Corporate Edition' where companies battle for the best profits in war-torn regions!. Fact: Did you know that building a water pipe plant in a conflict zone is about as smart as trying to sell ice to an Eskimo? Good luck with that!.
• Headline: Barnett Seeks Jury in Contempt Case. Impact: Resuming atomic tests was like opening Pandora's box. This led to a perpetual game of nuclear chicken that continues today, with world leaders trying to outdo each other in a dangerous game of 'who can blow up the most stuff'. Spoiler: Everyone loses.. Fact: Did you know that the U.S. thought it was a great idea to keep blowing things up underground? Because, you know, they were just trying to keep it 'low-key'!.
• Headline: U.S. Resumes Atom Tests After Lag in Treaty Talks; Underground Blasts End a Two-Month Suspension While Soviet's Offer of Inspection Was Being Debated U.S. IS RESUMING NUCLEAR TESTS Soviet Accepts Inspection Soviet Charges Retreat Parleys Resume Tuesday View Taken by Kennedy What Americans Sought. Impact: The blockade in Congo was the start of a long history of food shortages, which ironically led to the rise of fast food chains that would later make their way to Africa, because when you're starving, nothing says 'dinner' like a burger from a clown-themed restaurant.. Fact: Did you know that cutting off food supplies is like the worst way to win friends and influence people? Yet, here we are!.
• Headline: Blockade Grips Congo's Capital As Tribe Tries to Regain Power; Provincial Police Roadblock Cuts Congo Capital Food Supply Tshombe Visits Katanga U.N. Denies Knowledge Says Formula is Implemented Passes Through Salisbury. Impact: D.B. Lourie's election as chairman probably caused a ripple effect of corporate jargon and endless meetings that led to the eventual rise of the 'PowerPoint presentation'—because who doesn't love a good slide deck?. Fact: Did you know that being elected chairman is like being crowned the king of paper pushers? Long live the bureaucracy!.
• Headline: NASSERITE COUP IN IRAQ TOPPLES KASSIM'S REGIME; Premier's Fate Is in Doubt After Air Force Leads Revolt in Baghdad ALL BORDERS ARE SHUT Rebels' Radio Only Contact --Group Seen Favorable to Pact With Kurds Early Appeals to People Nation's Borders Closed NASSERITES OUST REGIME IN IRAQ Kassim is Denounced Student Strikes a Factor. Impact: Howard Hughes' default in the suit opened a Pandora's box of corporate shenanigans, leading to a legacy of rich industrialists dodging court appearances. This eventually inspired a new genre of films about shady billionaires—thank you, Hughes, for the drama!. Fact: Did you know that avoiding court appearances is a great way to keep your secrets safe? Just ask any celebrity!.
• Headline: Executive Changes. Impact: The $3 million offer to astronauts for their stories marked the beginning of the 'celebrity astronaut' phenomenon, leading to a future where everyone wanted to be an astronaut just for the potential book deal. Thanks to this, space became the new Hollywood!. Fact: Did you know that astronauts were once just nerds in jumpsuits? Now, they’re basically the Kardashians of the cosmos!.
• Headline: HUGHES INDICATES DEFAULT IN SUIT; Industrialist Will Not Appear for Questioning in T.W.A. $115,000,000 Action Enormous Expenses HUGHES INDICATES DEFAULT IN SUIT Court Studies Motion. Impact: Ranking fifth in apple trade led to an overabundance of apple-themed products, including a wildly popular line of apple-scented air fresheners that you'll find in every grandma's house. Thanks for the fruity legacy, America!. Fact: Did you know that being fifth in apple trade means you're just one step away from being completely irrelevant? Go, team USA!.
• Headline: 3 Million Offered To 16 Astronauts; 3 Million Offered to Astronauts For Stories on Space Flights Talks in 'Tentative Form' Plan for Use of Profits Restrictions Set Forth May Pass 22 Orbits.
• Headline: U.S. Is Fifth in Apple Trade.