JANUARY 23, 1963

Full News Archive

• Headline: France and West Germany Forge New Pact. Impact: In an alternate timeline, this treaty led to France and Germany forming a culinary alliance that resulted in a fusion dish combining sauerkraut and escargot, which became the world's most beloved food—until it was banned for being too delicious.. Fact: Did you know that this treaty almost included a clause for mandatory beret-wearing on Tuesdays? It was a close call!.
• Headline: End of Shipmen Walkout Announced. Impact: The end of the walkout led to shipmen discovering they had a hidden talent for interpretive dance, which eventually revolutionized the shipping industry into a Broadway show.. Fact: Did you know that this agreement was so poorly received that it was nearly renamed 'The Great Shipmen Disappointment'?.
• Headline: U.S. AIDE HINTS AT COMPROMISE FOR ATOM PACT; Wiesner Implies Conferees Will Agree on Number of On-Site Inspections CAPITAL TALKS BEGUN Air of Optimism Is Noted-- France Ignores Demand She Join in a Treaty Two Main Issues U.S. AIDE HINTS AT ATOM ACCORD France Ignores Gromyko. Impact: This tax plan sparked a nationwide movement where citizens attempted to deduct their emotional distress as a medical expense, causing a surge in therapy sessions and a nationwide shortage of tissues.. Fact: Did you know that the only deduction that didn’t change was for 'terrible puns'? Apparently, those are still fully deductible!.
• Headline: American Football League Starts Antitrust Appeal. Impact: This voting suit triggered a nationwide trend of people trying to vote in costume, which eventually led to the creation of the 'Best Dressed Voter Award'—because who doesn’t love a little fashion with their democracy?. Fact: Did you know that Sen. Eastland was actually just trying to win a 'Best Supporting Actor in a Drama' award with his denial?.
• Headline: BERLIN ASSURED BY KHRUSHCHEV; Premier Disclaims Plan to 'Swallow' Western Sector --Leaves for Moscow Hugs German Leaders. Impact: Pravda's chiding of neutral nations led to a secret club where these nations met annually to discuss how to out-repress each other, passing the torch of repression from one nation to the next.. Fact: Did you know that the club’s motto was 'We may not agree on much, but we all agree that repression is best done in style'?.
• Headline: NEUTRALS CHIDED ON CURB OF REDS; Pravda Says Repression Is Inspired by West NEUTRALS CHIDED ON CURB OF REDS.