JANUARY 17, 1963

Full News Archive

• Headline: Kennedy's Mediation Panel for Pier Strike. Impact: This panel's mediation somehow led to the establishment of an entire industry dedicated to conflict resolution. Little did they know, this would eventually lead to reality TV shows about mediators fighting over who gets the last donut.. Fact: Did you know that without this panel, we might never have had the phrase 'intolerable injury' become a standard excuse for being late to parties?.
• Headline: Filibuster Rule Changes Stall in Senate. Impact: The failure to tighten rules on filibustering allowed future senators to ramble endlessly, paving the way for today's politicians to filibuster about their favorite pizza toppings.. Fact: Did you know that filibustering is not just a political tool but also a great way to avoid doing your laundry? Just ask any senator..
• Headline: Stainless Blade War: Strategic Maneuvers. Impact: This razor blade war led to the modern obsession with men's grooming products, which means that countless hipsters are now spending their salaries on artisanal blades instead of, you know, food.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing sharper than those blades was the competition in the marketing department trying to make razors sound cool..
• Headline: PRESIDENT URGES PEACE IN CONGO; Writes Adoula That Tshombe Capitulation Could Mark Key 'Turning Point' Offer Is Qualified. Impact: Kennedy’s push for peace in the Congo set the stage for countless diplomatic efforts that eventually became the basis for high-stakes board games like Diplomacy—where betrayal is just a roll of the dice away.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more complicated than Congo’s political landscape is trying to explain it in a single tweet?.
• Headline: 2 FRENCH LEADERS ASSAIL DE GAULLE ON BRITISH STAND; Monnet and Pflimlin Want London in Market--Plea Made by Bonn Socialists Position Is Unchanged FRENCH LEADERS ASSAIL DE GAULLE Cautioned by Pflimlin. Impact: De Gaulle's stubbornness in this matter cemented France’s reputation for being dramatically resistant to change, which ironically led to the French Revolution—part deux: The Revenge of the Croissants.. Fact: Did you know that de Gaulle once tried to convince a French bakery to make a baguette shaped like the Eiffel Tower? Because why not mix bread and nationalism?.
• Headline: F.T.C. TO REVIEW ITS 20 QUESTIONS; Hearing Develops Objections to Business Study. Impact: The review led to an endless cycle of bureaucratic questioning, which eventually evolved into a game show format where contestants answer questions about market domination for fabulous prizes!. Fact: Did you know the FTC's original 20 questions were just a ploy to find out who had the best pizza in America? Spoiler alert: It’s still a contentious issue..
• Headline: Clemson Told to Admit Negro, First in South Carolina Schools; Court Upholds Appeal by Student--Granting of Delay Held Unlikely CLEMSON ORDERED TO ADMIT NEGRO Transfer Turned Down. Impact: This landmark decision marked a crucial step toward desegregation in schools, ultimately leading to the diverse educational landscape we have today—where students learn about civil rights while scrolling through social media.. Fact: Fun fact: The first student admitted to Clemson was a trailblazer, paving the way for future generations to challenge the status quo. Talk about pressure!.
• Headline: U.S. SEES A PAUSE IN BERLIN CRISIS; Administration Experts Find Khrushchev Speech Milder Than They Expected U.S. SEES A PAUSE IN BERLIN CRISIS Move Called a Mistake. Impact: This 'pause' in the Berlin crisis gave rise to countless conspiracy theories about secret meetings between world leaders, forever fueling the fire for future generations of conspiracy theorists. Thanks, Khrushchev!. Fact: Did you know that every time someone mentions the Berlin crisis, an entire generation of historians collectively sighs? It’s a rough gig..
• Headline: KHRUSHCHEV ASKS TRUCE WITH CHINA; BARS REDS' PARLEY; But in Berlin Address He Defends Coexistence Policy and Cuba Withdrawal TONE IS CONCILIATORY Premier Again Proposes U.N. Role in Berlin but Sets No Treaty Deadline Tone is Conciliatory No Hint of Deadline KHRUSHCHEV ASKS TRUCE WITH CHINA Rejects Peking Thesis. Impact: Khrushchev’s request for a truce marked the beginning of a series of diplomatic dances that eventually led to the ‘Cold War Tango’—where both sides took turns stepping on each other’s toes.. Fact: Did you know that Khrushchev once famously said that he would bury capitalism—ironically, he ended up just burying his own credibility instead?.
• Headline: Mobile Model of Moon Vehicle Shown by Chrysler in Detroit; Moon Plans Explained Model of a Lunar Rover Displayed by Chrysler. Impact: This moon vehicle model unknowingly sparked the imagination of countless engineers who would later create the modern-day 'moon rover', leading to the eventual discovery that Mars is a far more interesting vacation destination.. Fact: Did you know that Chrysler’s lunar rover model was so ahead of its time that it was basically the 'iPhone of space travel'—only without the ridiculous pricing?.