NOVEMBER 20, 1962

Full News Archive

• Headline: Israeli Chaplain's Historic NYC Visit. Impact: Col Goren's arrival in NYC led to a long chain of events, including an unexpected increase in bagel sales due to his sheer charisma. Little did they know, he would also inspire a future generation of New Yorkers to become chaplains, leading to a shortage of good bagel spots!. Fact: NYC has more bagel shops than any other city in the world. Coincidence? I think not!.
• Headline: Chou En-Lai Warns of U.S. Aid Risks. Impact: Chou's warning about U.S. intervention ignited a series of diplomatic tensions that ultimately led to the invention of the phrase 'let's not escalate this,' which is now used in every single argument over the last sixty years.. Fact: The term 'diplomatic incident' was coined after a particularly awkward handshake between two leaders. Just imagine the history we could have avoided with better handshakes!.
• Headline: City Dismisses Inspectors for Corruption. Impact: The inspector's dismissal led to a massive increase in shady dealings in NYC, resulting in the infamous 'If It Looks Good, It Probably Is' real estate philosophy that still haunts unsuspecting buyers today.. Fact: The phrase 'buyer beware' probably originated here, though it's likely that someone forgot to inspect the fine print!.
• Headline: SCHOOLS ARE HELD CITY'S FIRST NEED; Councilman Urges That All '63 Funds Go for Buildings Others Join Plea. Impact: This urgent plea for school funding set off a chain reaction that led to the establishment of more schools, which ultimately resulted in more students, more homework, and a never-ending cycle of coffee consumption among parents.. Fact: The first school in the U.S. was established in Boston in 1635, but I guess they were just warming up for the chaos that is modern education!.
• Headline: BEN BELLA CALLS FOR FRENCH AMITY; Eases Stand in Explaining Algerian Socialism. Impact: Ben Bella's call for cooperation led to a brief moment of peace, which was then promptly overshadowed by a series of awkward dinner parties where everyone tried to avoid discussing politics.. Fact: Algeria's independence from France in 1962 was so intense that historians say it could be the inspiration for the next big blockbuster movie. Stay tuned!.
• Headline: Hughes Bans Right to Reject Shots for Religious Reasons. Impact: This decision sparked a nationwide debate that would eventually lead to more people becoming well-versed in vaccine science than in the actual science of their own faiths, causing some to think twice about what they really believe.. Fact: Vaccines have been around for centuries, but somehow, we still can't agree on the best way to keep track of our children’s shot records!.
• Headline: BERLIN AGREEMENT IS URGED BY BRANDT. Impact: Brandt's push for a Berlin agreement was the catalyst for countless coffee breaks worldwide, where leaders discussed peace but ended up with more pastries than solutions. History is deliciously ironic that way.. Fact: The Berlin Wall fell in 1989, but if only they'd had more pastries back then, maybe it would have fallen sooner!.
• Headline: U.S. Welfare Aide Retires. Impact: The retirement of this welfare aide left a gaping hole in the system, which was quickly filled by a confusing new policy that nobody understood, ensuring that everyone remained equally frustrated.. Fact: Welfare programs have been around since ancient Rome, but somehow we've managed to make them more complicated than a crossword puzzle in a foreign language!.
• Headline: CHINESE DRIVE INTO INDIA, IMPERILING ASSAM PLAINS; NEHRU ASKS MORE U.S. AID; OUTPOSTS CUT OFF Village Falls to Reds and Force at Pass Is Outflanked Nehru Addresses Nation Retreat at Walong CHINESE THRUST MENACES ASSAM Fresh Chinese Troops Seen Pass 14,00 Feet High Nation Urged On by Nehru Planters' Families Evacuated Chinese Report on Fighting. Impact: The Chinese advance into India reshaped international relations in ways that led to a new generation of political analysts who spent their lives trying to figure out how to fix everything—only to conclude that coffee breaks were the answer.. Fact: The Sino-Indian War of 1962 was a significant conflict, but it also led to many awkward dinners between Indian and Chinese diplomats, who still argue about who makes the best dumplings!.