NOVEMBER 10, 1962

Full News Archive

• Headline: Community Protests Sale of Ex-Mitchel Base. Impact: The protests over the land deal set off a series of increasingly absurd real estate squabbles. Fast forward a few decades, and we have developers fighting over the rights to build luxury condos on top of ancient burial sites. Thanks, civic com!. Fact: Did you know that if you protest hard enough, you can turn a simple land deal into a reality TV show? Oh wait, that's just how the world works now..
• Headline: Corning Glass Price Fixing Case. Impact: By stopping Corning's price-fixing schemes, the court inadvertently paved the way for a world where 'marked down' prices actually mean something. This led to the eventual rise of discount stores, which then inspired every hipster to open a thrift shop, thus changing fashion forever.. Fact: Fun fact: Price fixing is basically the corporate equivalent of a group project gone horribly wrong. Everyone's in on it, but only one person does the work, and the rest just take the credit!.
• Headline: Quiet Vote Recheck Amid Fraud Allegations. Impact: The quiet aftermath of this election count led to a long tradition of 'quiet' elections in Chicago, which has since become synonymous with 'we don't talk about that'. It also inspired the phrase 'vote early and often' among local politicians.. Fact: Did you know that Chicago’s idea of a 'quiet election' is still louder than a rock concert? It's just that no one wants to hear about the shenanigans..
• Headline: CASE URGES UNION OF G.O.P. LIBERALS; Says Group Gould Help Pick Presidential Nominee Had 27,000 Plurality. Impact: Sen. Case's call for unity among G.O.P. liberals created a butterfly effect that confused so many constituents that it led to the rise of political memes, where the only thing anyone agreed on was that everyone else was wrong. And look where we are now!. Fact: Did you know that 'liberal' and 'G.O.P.' in the same sentence is like mixing oil and water? It can be done, but it's messy and nobody really wants to see it..
• Headline: Health Service Promotes Aide. Impact: The promotion of the aide doubled as a subtle reminder that bureaucracy thrives on moving pieces around rather than actually improving services. This led to the creation of countless 'positions' that do absolutely nothing—perfectly legal, of course.. Fact: Did you know that in health services, 'promote' often means 'let's give you more paperwork'? It's like a demotion with extra steps..
• Headline: Massachusetts Vote Fluctuates, But Peabody Remains in Lead. Impact: The fluctuating votes made Massachusetts the birthplace of the 'swing state' concept, which later inspired countless political strategists to throw everything they had at this one state. Spoiler: it still didn’t really change anything.. Fact: Did you know that Massachusetts is like that friend who can’t make up their mind? They’re always leading, but then they suddenly change their minds for no reason..
• Headline: California Election Set To Fill Miller's Seat. Impact: The special election in California for Miller's seat triggered a series of special elections that would eventually lead to an entire generation of politicians who specialize in filling seats rather than doing anything meaningful. The cycle continues!. Fact: Did you know that in California, filling seats is more of a pastime than a responsibility? You can practically hear the collective sigh of voters every election cycle..
• Headline: U.N. Holds Memorial Rite for Mrs. Roosevelt; Stevenson Leads in Eulogies--Zorin Adds His Praise Gallery Visitors Weep Mrs. Kennedy to Attend Service in Washington. Impact: The memorial for Mrs. Roosevelt not only honored her legacy but also solidified the idea that political spouses can leave a monumental impact on history, eventually leading to a world where everyone just assumes the spouse has a say in everything.. Fact: Did you know that Eleanor Roosevelt was such a trailblazer that even her memorial service was packed? Turns out, being a legend means you never really leave the spotlight..