SEPTEMBER 29, 1962

Full News Archive

• Headline: NYC Expands Voter Registration Timeline. Impact: If only they had added three registration days instead of two, NYC might have become the political capital of the universe. But alas, only two, and we ended up with the same old circus. Thanks, Wagner!. Fact: Fun fact: That $428,000 could have bought a lot of pizza for all those newly registered voters to celebrate... or mourn their choices..
• Headline: Troika or Triumvirs? The USSR Proposal Debate. Impact: This debate probably led to late-night talk show hosts perfecting their 'troika' jokes, which in turn resulted in an entire generation being confused about the meaning of the word. Thanks, history!. Fact: Did you know 'triumvirate' sounds cool but means three people with too much power? Kind of like a corporate board meeting, right?.
• Headline: CENTO Ministers Discuss Global Issues. Impact: This meeting was probably the moment someone accidentally invented the modern concept of a group chat, where everyone talks over each other and nothing gets done. Thanks, Rusk!. Fact: Did you know CENTO was really just a fancy way of saying ‘too many cooks in the kitchen’? Spoiler alert: they never made a good soup..
• Headline: Stewardesses Tell House Unit Pilots Let Them Fly Airliners. Impact: This might have sparked the whole 'Let the intern do it' mentality we see in offices today. Thanks to these brave stewardesses, we now have 'flying selfies' and 'pilot influencers.'. Fact: Did you know that letting someone else fly the plane is still not a great idea? Unless you're playing a flight simulator, of course..
• Headline: TARIFF CUTS URGED FOR U.S. AND EUROPE. Impact: This could have led to a world where tariffs were as rare as a unicorn, but instead, we just got more paperwork and people shouting at each other about economics. Well done, everyone!. Fact: Fun fact: Tariffs are like taxes that make things more expensive. Because who doesn't want to pay more for everything they love?.
• Headline: DR. R.C. WALKER, EX-PASTOR HERE; 1952-'59 Leader of Madison Avenue Baptist Is Dead. Impact: Dr. Walker's passing may have led to a spiritual crisis for his congregation, which probably resulted in a nationwide search for the next great pastor. Spoiler: They were all just as human.. Fact: Did you know that being a pastor is basically 50% comforting the grieving and 50% pretending to understand the Bible? Tough gig!.
• Headline: Ontario County G.O.P. Elects. Impact: This election was likely the moment when local politics became just as riveting as a soap opera. Who knew G.O.P. chairmanship was so dramatic?. Fact: Did you know that political meetings often involve more backstabbing than a Game of Thrones episode? Just without the dragons..
• Headline: JULIUS CAROFF. Impact: Julius Caroff's name being in the news probably led to a brief spike in people with the last name 'Caroff' Googling themselves. The Internet was not ready for that level of self-discovery.. Fact: Did you know that the name 'Julius' means 'downy-bearded'? So, there’s that little nugget of wisdom for you..
• Headline: Steelworkers to Vote Upstate. Impact: This vote likely sparked a series of labor negotiations that eventually led to the phrase 'Let’s negotiate in good faith.' But really, it just meant ‘let’s argue for hours!’. Fact: Did you know that wage cuts often lead to more coffee breaks? Because who can work when they're sad about their paycheck?.
• Headline: NEWS OF SHIPPING: CARGO TIE-UP ENDS; Sailors, on U.S. Assurance, Let Chemical Go to Russia. Impact: This cargo tie-up ended up causing a chain reaction of trust issues in international shipping that are still felt today. Just ask any shipping magnate!. Fact: Fun fact: The assurance that the cargo wouldn't go to Cuba probably made everyone feel like they were in a spy movie. Spoiler: They weren't..