MAY 18, 1962

Full News Archive

• Headline: Remembering Prof. Augusta Neidhardt. Impact: The untimely passing of Prof. Neidhardt caused an unexpected spike in gym memberships across the nation, as her students began a quest to honor her legacy by over-exercising. This led to an era of fitness fads like jumping jacks and hula hoops that ultimately fueled the rise of spandex.. Fact: Did you know that physical education was once considered a legitimate way to dodge math class? Thank you, Prof. Neidhardt, for giving us all a reason to 'exercise' our right to avoid calculus..
• Headline: Estes Project Mystery Unveiled. Impact: Once the truth about the 'Washington Project' leaked, it sent shockwaves through the housing market, causing a brief but intense fascination with government surplus housing that inspired a reality TV show called 'Surplus or Not?'. Fact: Did you know that Spokane is not just a place to find government housing, but also a great spot for people who enjoy saying, 'I live in a surplus!' with a straight face?.
• Headline: PRESIDENT PLEADS FOR HIS FARM BILL; Says Defeat Would Cost U.S. 4 Billion Over 4 Years-- Surplus Fees Cited PRESIDENT PLEADS FOR HIS FARM BILL. Impact: Kennedy's impassioned plea triggered a wave of agricultural policies that led to the invention of kale chips, thus forever altering the snack game and the health of millions who pretended to like them.. Fact: Spoiler alert: The $4 billion he mentioned? That was just the estimated cost of keeping his favorite farm-to-table restaurant afloat..
• Headline: Charles P. Hofmann, 66, Ex-Times Circulation Man. Impact: Hofmann's departure marked the beginning of the end for print circulation, leading to the invention of online news, which subsequently gave rise to clickbait articles about cats in hats.. Fact: Did you know that circulation men used to be the rock stars of the newspaper world? They had the hottest gossip and the best connections—sorry, Kardashians!.
• Headline: Commuter Tax Deadline Put Off to July in Jersey. Impact: This deadline extension caused a massive uptick in procrastination across New Jersey, ultimately leading to the popular saying, 'Why do today what you can put off until July?'. Fact: In New Jersey, 'deadline' is just another word for 'flexible suggestion.' You’d think they invented the art of last-minute panic!.
• Headline: Congressional Newsmen Reject Chalk Application. Impact: The rejection of Chalk's application sparked a secret underground movement among journalists, leading to the formation of 'The League of Misfit Applications,' where rejected ideas went on to become viral memes.. Fact: Chalk was not just a writing tool; it was also a metaphor for the numerous ideas that never made it past the 'application' stage. Talk about a rough draft!.
• Headline: DEAD CITY AGENCY GETS BUDGET SLICE; $1,500 for Abolished Unit is Spotted by New Councilman. Impact: This shocking revelation sent the new councilman on a mission to uncover other 'dead' budgets, ultimately leading to the creation of the popular city-wide scavenger hunt called 'What’s Still in the Budget?'. Fact: In the world of city budgets, 'abolished' is just a polite way of saying 'we forgot this ever existed, but here’s a tiny financial consolation prize.'.
• Headline: DOCTORS IN STATE ADOPT AGED PLAN; Call for Federal Subsidies in Private Insurance Support Is Unanimous A. M. A. Plans Telecast. Impact: The unanimous call for federal subsidies led to a dramatic increase in healthcare debates, resulting in the invention of the phrase, 'Do I have to wait for Congress to approve my next doctor’s visit?'. Fact: The A.M.A. decided telecasting their meetings would be a great way to engage the public. Spoiler: It mostly resulted in more people watching cat videos instead..
• Headline: Rolland J. Hamilton Dead at 82; Ex-Head of American Radiator. Impact: Hamilton's passing marked the end of an era for American Radiator, setting off a chain reaction that eventually led to an obsession with home heating efficiency and the rise of DIY radiator cover tutorials on the internet.. Fact: Did you know that American Radiator was once the go-to name for cozy homes? Now, it’s just a nostalgic reminder of how we all used to ignore our heating bills until it was too late..