NOVEMBER 11, 1961

Full News Archive

• Headline: Eisenhower's Historic Visit with Truman. Impact: This friendly library chat sparked a secret society of bookworms who believed that reading could save the world. Little did they know, they were just late to the party and the world ended up being saved by Netflix instead.. Fact: Did you know that the Truman Library is just a fancy way to say, 'Here’s where we keep all the secrets we’re legally obligated to keep?'.
• Headline: Rockefeller's Residence: City’s Sole Shelter Approved. Impact: The approval of Rockefeller's shelter led to a massive underground network of conspiracy theorists who believed it was the only safe place on Earth. Spoiler alert: It wasn't. Meanwhile, the rest of the city was left to fend for themselves and their DIY projects.. Fact: Fun fact: Rockefeller’s shelter probably had more amenities than half the hotels in the city. Someone was ready for a long stay!.
• Headline: Governor Volpe Inspires Catholic Youth. Impact: Gov Volpe's speech inspired a new generation of youth activists who believed that the secret to change was to keep talking loudly at each other. The political landscape would never be the same, mainly because no one actually listened.. Fact: Isn't it charming how inspiring speeches often lead to absolutely no action? It's like ordering a salad and then eating a pizza instead..
• Headline: London Times Wins Contest. Impact: The London Times winning this contest led to a long-standing rivalry with the Daily Worker, sparking debates over typography that would echo through the ages. And by ages, I mean until the next viral meme ruined everything.. Fact: Did you know that the design of newspapers is taken so seriously that some editors have been known to cry over a misplaced comma? True story!.
• Headline: BUS AIDE CONVICTED; Fined $50 in Birmingham for Serving Negroes. Impact: Sizemore's conviction set off a chain reaction of public outrage, leading to protests against discrimination in public services. Ironically, it also inspired a new series of poorly made protest signs that became a cultural phenomenon.. Fact: Fun fact: In Birmingham, serving anyone who isn't white was considered a crime, but apparently serving awful coffee was still okay!.
• Headline: Printer Admits Counterfeiting. Impact: D Graf's counterfeiting scandal inadvertently led to a spike in the popularity of board games featuring criminals, which allowed people to live out their criminal fantasies while remaining safely in their living rooms.. Fact: Did you know that counterfeiting is one of those jobs that sounds cool until you realize it’s just a lot of paperwork and stress? Kind of a letdown, huh?.
• Headline: Charles Edison to Quit Business To Aid Rightist Organizations; Former Governor of Jersey Has Resigned as Director of Steel Corporation. Impact: Edison's pivot to rightist organizations caused a rift in the political fabric of New Jersey, creating a bizarre alternate reality where conservative meetings were filled with high-tech gadgets. Still waiting for the 'Edisonverse' to be a thing!. Fact: Fun fact: Charles Edison resigned so he could promote conservative organizations, proving that sometimes you really can take your ball and go home... to organize a rally..
• Headline: Atlas Carrying a Monkey Is Destroyed Off Cape Canaveral as Engine Failure Ruins a 5,000-Mile Test; ATLAS BLOWN UP; MONKEY ABOARD. Impact: The Atlas rocket disaster led to a new wave of animal rights activism, as people were outraged that a monkey had to endure such a fate. Little did they know, this would lead to a surge in pet adoption rates from shelters across the nation.. Fact: Did you know that the monkey was probably less stressed than the engineers watching the rocket blow up? At least it didn’t have bills to pay!.
• Headline: AIR ALERT WIDENS TO CROSS ATLANTIC; B-52's Now Also Watching Arctic -- Fueling Planes Sent Abroad to Aid Them B-52'S EXPANDING U.S. AIR ALERT NET. Impact: The expansion of B-52 air alert to the Arctic made polar bears the most paranoid creatures on the planet, leading them to form their own protective air force. Spoiler: They were not very effective.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing scarier than a B-52 flying overhead is the realization that you’ve left your sandwich out in the open!.