NOVEMBER 3, 1961

Full News Archive

• Headline: Tariff Battle Anticipated by Traders. Impact: The tariff battle sparked by traders was so intense that it led to the creation of a secret society called 'The Protectionist Pals,' who meet annually to reminisce about how they single-handedly caused a global economic meltdown through their incessant whining.. Fact: Did you know that if traders had spent half as much time trading as they did worrying about tariffs, the stock market might have been a lot less volatile? Just a thought!.
• Headline: Navy's Historic Dual Launch of Aerobee. Impact: The successful testing of the Aerobee rocket was so groundbreaking that it inadvertently sparked a nationwide obsession with rockets, leading to the creation of 'Rocket-Pops,' the ice cream treat that took too long to launch and melted before reaching your mouth.. Fact: Fun fact: The Aerobee was the first rocket to be fired twice, which is more than I can say for my attempts at exercising—my gym membership is basically a 'one-and-done' deal..
• Headline: Ambush Near Saigon: Heavy Casualties Reported. Impact: The clash in Vietnam resulted in a ripple effect of confusion, eventually leading to a generation of 'armchair generals' who think they can resolve complex geopolitical issues from their couches, armed only with snacks and a remote.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'it’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye' originated from battles like these? It turns out they weren’t just talking about paintball..
• Headline: James Thurber Is Dead at 66; Writer Was Also Comic Artist; Created Walter Mitty -- His Stories and Drawings Long Appeared in New Yorker James Thurber, Writer and Humorist, Is Dead. Impact: James Thurber's passing led to a massive increase in the number of people pretending to appreciate literary humor, resulting in a plethora of badly written 'funny' books that cluttered shelves for decades.. Fact: Did you know Thurber’s creation, Walter Mitty, was the original daydreamer? He’s basically the poster child for why procrastination should be a recognized art form..
• Headline: Katanga Reports Victories. Impact: Katanga's victories in repelling invaders created a domino effect that led to more countries trying to 'one-up' each other with ridiculous military tactics, like the infamous 'Dance Battle Diplomacy.'. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more entertaining than a victory report is the press conference that follows, where everyone pretends they weren't just winging it the whole time..
• Headline: Rabbi Heads Jewish National Fund. Impact: Rabbi Sternstein’s election to the Jewish National Fund led to an unprecedented surge of fundraising events, eventually inspiring a new trend of 'charity dinner parties' where the food was far better than the cause.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing fundraisers love more than money is the sound of their own voices? It’s basically a karaoke night without the actual singing..
• Headline: KENNEDY, IN CITY, SUPPORTS WAGNER IN STRONG TERMS; President Says Re-election of the Mayor Will Further Administration Aims MOTORCADE IS CHEERED Crowds Along Route Greet Both Men -- Running Mates Share the Limelight KENNEDY, IN CITY, SUPPORTS WAGNER. Impact: Kennedy’s strong support for Mayor Wagner caused a chain reaction in political endorsements, resulting in candidates everywhere feeling the need to parrot the phrase 'I too, support…' as if it were a magic spell for votes.. Fact: Did you know that political motorcades are just like parades for people who take themselves too seriously? Confetti just can’t make up for the lack of fun floats..