NOVEMBER 1, 1961

Full News Archive

• Headline: Sentences Handed Down in McComb Protest. Impact: The jail terms from the M'Comb protest sparked a nationwide series of protests that inadvertently led to the rise of protest fashion. Suddenly, wearing denim and fighting for justice became the ultimate trend. Fact: In the '60s, protest fashion was less about style and more about making sure your voice was heard—preferably over a loudspeaker, not just a megaphone.
• Headline: Van Fleet's Controversial Pentagon Speech. Impact: Gen Van Fleet's speech caused such a ruckus that it inspired a secret society of generals who would later write melodramatic plays about lost cities. Spoiler alert: the hero never saves Berlin. Fact: General Van Fleet's favorite hobby was knitting, but he always claimed it was too 'soft' for military men. Ironically, he was known to knit his own sweaters during quiet moments in the field.
• Headline: BLAST IS ASSAILED HERE; Churches Council Executive Calls Test Unjustified. Impact: The protest against the blast led to a massive increase in church attendance, as people sought solace from their existential dread in the form of hymns and potluck dinners. Fact: Rev Dr Nolde once tried to organize a bake sale to raise funds for peace, but accidentally raised funds for a local cat shelter instead. Cats: 1, peace: 0.
• Headline: 'Voice' Seeks to Break Soviet Jamming Sunday. Impact: The Voice of America’s efforts to break through Soviet jamming inadvertently formed the basis for modern-day social media influencers. If only they'd known they could have just used hashtags. Fact: The Voice of America once attempted to reach Soviet listeners by sending messages via carrier pigeon. The pigeons, however, got distracted and ended up in a local bakery instead.
• Headline: Administrative M.D.; Marvin Earl Perkins. Impact: Marvin Earl Perkins' career went on to inspire a generation of administrative MDs who believed that writing emails was the peak of medical achievement. Little did they know, it was just the start of a never-ending inbox. Fact: Perkins once submitted a paper titled 'The Importance of Coffee Breaks in Medicine,' which was surprisingly well-received at the annual conference on serious medical topics.
• Headline: JAPAN IS INVITED TO AID U.S. STUDY; President Suggests Expert Advise Retardation Panel. Impact: Japan's involvement in the U.S. study led to a national obsession with productivity, ultimately creating the infamous 'workaholic' culture that would take decades to unravel. Thanks, Kennedy!. Fact: The Japanese expert proposed to advise the panel while simultaneously inventing the concept of 'kaizen'—because why not improve your study sessions while you're at it?.
• Headline: SCARBECK FILES PLEA FOR NEW SPY TRIAL. Impact: Scarbeck’s plea for a new spy trial led to the creation of an underground network of amateur spies who thought they could outsmart the government with nothing but a trench coat and a pair of sunglasses. Fact: Scarbeck once attempted to disguise himself as a potted plant to avoid a trial, but accidentally gave away his hiding spot by sneezing. Spoiler: he was not a very convincing fern.
• Headline: No Recommendation Due. Impact: Rockefeller's refusal to make recommendations led to a series of indecisive meetings that eventually inspired the phrase 'analysis paralysis.' Truly groundbreaking. Fact: Rockefeller's favorite recreational activity was making lists of things he wouldn’t recommend—spoiler alert: it included everything from pineapple on pizza to any law that involved speed limits.
• Headline: U.S. SHIFT IS SEEN ON AIDES TO THANT; Stevenson Is Said to Drop Plea on 5 U.N. Assistants. Impact: U.S. shifts in support for Thant's assistants resulted in a bizarre game of political musical chairs that left everyone dizzy and slightly confused. Guess who didn’t get a seat?. Fact: During these negotiations, Thant was known for his infamous ‘who can hold their breath the longest’ game, which was reportedly a real icebreaker among diplomats.