AUGUST 22, 1961

Full News Archive

• Headline: Communists Push for Oversight in Laos. Impact: The push for limits on the Laos Commission led to an underground movement of Communists who, in a twist of fate, accidentally invented the world's first communistic karaoke bar. Hence, the phrase 'Let’s sing for the revolution!' was born.. Fact: Did you know that karaoke can actually be traced back to a Japanese bar? Who knew Communists could be so musically inclined?.
• Headline: Record Voter Turnout in Calm Elections. Impact: Heavy voting led to a sudden surge in coffee sales across the nation, creating a nationwide caffeine dependency that would later fuel the rise of baristas as the new leaders of the modern world.. Fact: Fun fact: In some places, voting is more popular than watching paint dry. But really, who doesn’t love a good election day brew?.
• Headline: O.C.D.M. Rebranded as Office of Emergency Planning. Impact: Renaming the OCDM to the Office of Emergency Planning opened the floodgates for bureaucrats everywhere, leading to an explosion in the number of acronyms in government. By 2030, it became illegal to have a government agency without a catchy acronym.. Fact: OCDM sounds like an abbreviation for a new age therapy group, doesn’t it? Turns out, it was just a bunch of planners trying to sound important..
• Headline: BRIDGE PROPOSED TO RIKERS ISLAND; Mrs. Kross Says Link With Queens Would Enable City to Put All Jails Together BRIDGE PROPOSED TO RIKERS ISLAND. Impact: The proposed bridge to Rikers Island sparked a new trend in jail tourism. Soon, influencers began taking selfies with the prison as their backdrop, claiming it was the ultimate 'bad boy' aesthetic.. Fact: Did you know that Rikers Island is often referred to as a 'beautiful prison'? It’s almost like saying 'that’s a nice mugshot!'.
• Headline: Kenya's Burning Spear; Jomo Kenyatta. Impact: Jomo Kenyatta's biography inspired a wave of political autobiographies, inadvertently leading to a reality TV series called 'Politicians Unplugged'. Spoiler: it's just them reading their own books.. Fact: Jomo Kenyatta was such a big deal that his name literally sounds like a superhero. I mean, who wouldn’t want 'Burning Spear' in their corner?.
• Headline: MEDAL IS AUTHORIZED; Senate Resolution Sets Honor for Air Chief of Thirties. Impact: The Senate's approval of the DFC for Maj Gen Foulois motivated generations of air chiefs to exaggerate their military exploits, leading to a pop culture phenomenon of air combat films that grossed billions.. Fact: Fun fact: The DFC stands for Distinguished Flying Cross, but I like to think it stands for 'Definitely Flying Cool'..
• Headline: LUAPALA REINFORCED; More Troops Sent to Province in Northern Rhodesia. Impact: Sending more troops to Northern Rhodesia inadvertently led to an influx of 'peacekeeping' vacation packages, where tourists could enjoy a safari while inadvertently participating in military history.. Fact: Troops in Northern Rhodesia were like the original influencers; they just didn’t have Instagram to share their adventures!.