AUGUST 7, 1961

Full News Archive

• Headline: Censorship of 'The Lovers' in Chicago. Impact: The approval of 'Lovers, The' in Chicago sparked a fierce debate over censorship that eventually led to the invention of the remote control, allowing viewers to quickly flip away from anything remotely controversial.. Fact: Fun fact: the movie was so scandalous that it made people realize that maybe they should spend less time worrying about what others watch and more time figuring out how to make popcorn..
• Headline: Historic Test of Prolonged Weightlessness. Impact: The first man subjected to prolonged weightlessness inadvertently inspired a generation of couch potatoes to challenge themselves by attempting to float from their couches to the fridge without touching the ground.. Fact: Did you know that prolonged weightlessness also leads to 'space swag,' a phenomenon where astronauts return home with an inflated sense of coolness thanks to their out-of-this-world experiences?.
• Headline: Teamsters Ignored Hoffa's Appeal. Impact: The deafening silence to Hoffa's appeal created a ripple effect where local unions began ignoring all forms of communication, leading to the invention of the 'silent protest'—where everyone just pretended to listen while actually ignoring each other.. Fact: Did you know that 'Hoffa' is actually a Swedish term meaning 'to yell at people who don't want to hear you'?.
• Headline: Monsanto Starts New Plant. Impact: The establishment of a new Monsanto plant in Los Angeles set off a chain reaction that ultimately led to the creation of the world's first genetically modified avocado, which was then deemed too controversial and was never actually seen in stores.. Fact: Fun fact: the new plant’s opening ceremony was so exciting that it was rumored to have been the inspiration for the phrase 'plant parent'—a term that would confuse farmers for decades..
• Headline: U.S. BORROWING WON'T RISE IN '61; Expanded Defense Outlays Will Make Little Change In Treasury's Plans NEEDS SIGHTED IN 1962 New Military Spending for Fiscal Year Would Come Mainly After Jan. 1. Impact: The Treasury's announcement about borrowing plans marked the beginning of a long tradition in American politics where every budget speech sounds suspiciously like a kid explaining why they need to borrow money for yet another video game.. Fact: Did you know that the total borrowing amount sounds impressive until you realize it's roughly equivalent to what the average American owes on their credit card?.
• Headline: Soviet Releases 114 Japanese. Impact: The release of 114 Japanese fishermen by the Soviet Union was the first recorded instance of a government realizing that sometimes letting people go can actually make them happier and more productive, a lesson that, shockingly, still hasn't sunk in for many today.. Fact: Fun fact: the fishermen reported that the best part of their release was the ability to fish without needing to check in with the government first—who knew freedom tasted so much like sushi?.
• Headline: Moscow's Crowds Follow Astronaut With a Quiet Pride; MOSCOW IS CALM AT NEWS OF FEAT. Impact: Moscow's calm reaction to its astronaut's success led to a decade of overconfidence in Russian space missions, eventually resulting in the infamous 'let's send a dog into space' decision, which, spoiler alert, did not go unnoticed by canine activists.. Fact: Did you know that the calmness in Moscow was so overwhelming that it was suggested the city’s inhabitants were secretly plotting a national nap day?.
• Headline: A.M.A. POLL ASKED ON CARE FOR AGED; State Labor Group Disputes Doctors' Official Stand. Impact: The A.M.A. poll on care for the aged sparked widespread debates that led to the creation of the first 'senior discount,' a phenomenon that would later confuse businesses as they tried to figure out how to classify 'senior.'. Fact: Fun fact: when asked about the poll, many doctors simply responded, 'We’re just trying to keep our own parents happy!'.
• Headline: 2 FIGHT DE SAPIO IN 'VILLAGE' TEST; Former Aide and a 'Reform' Candidate Oppose Him. Impact: The political fight against De Sapio was the genesis of all future political debates, where candidates would spend more time arguing about each other’s hairstyles than actual policies—a tradition that continues to this day.. Fact: Did you know that the most heated argument in this election cycle was over who had the better campaign slogan: 'Vote for me, I’m not as bad as my opponent!' or 'At least I’m not wearing that hat'?.
• Headline: Spread of Apathy In Red China Noted; GROWING APATHY SEEN IN RED CHINA. Impact: The noted apathy in Red China inadvertently led to the rise of motivational speakers, who would later make millions telling people to 'just be enthusiastic'—a lesson in irony that the world still grapples with.. Fact: Fun fact: the spread of apathy was so prevalent that it became a popular theme for hipster art galleries, with artists displaying blank canvases titled 'The Void of Enthusiasm.'.