JULY 22, 1961

Full News Archive

• Headline: Historic U.S. Track Dominance in London. Impact: When the U.S. Men's Track Team took the lead, the ripple effect inspired countless athletes to pursue careers in sports, ultimately leading to the creation of a reality show about competitive eating. Yes, because when you think of athleticism, you think of competitive eating.. Fact: Did you know that in 1960, some of these athletes probably ran faster than your Wi-Fi?.
• Headline: Mercury Capsule Equipment Loss Details. Impact: The loss of cameras aboard the Mercury Capsule caused a major shift in space exploration documentation, leading to conspiracy theories about what really happened in space. Spoiler alert: it wasn't just aliens taking selfies.. Fact: Fun fact: the only thing more valuable than those cameras was the footage of astronauts trying to figure out how to use a camera in zero gravity..
• Headline: School Board Meeting Attendance Controversy. Impact: The school board's attendance drama led to a nationwide obsession with attendance tracking, eventually resulting in the invention of the 'Attendance Olympics', where the only medal awarded was for not falling asleep during meetings.. Fact: Isn't it ironic that some people treat school board meetings like a season finale of their favorite show? Spoiler: they always end in bickering..
• Headline: PATRICK E. MESKELL. Impact: Patrick E. Meskell's legacy is likely to be overshadowed by his unfortunate name, inspiring future generations to consider changing their names to avoid the same fate of eternal Google searches.. Fact: Did you know that having a unique name actually makes it harder to find a domain name? Sorry, Patk E..
• Headline: Lonely Place in the Alps; Waiters Outnumber the Customers In Alto Adige as Bombs Cut Travel. Impact: When waiters outnumber customers in the Alps, it not only impacts the local economy but also leads to a secret society of waiters plotting to overthrow the tourist industry, one overpriced fondue at a time.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing lonelier than that place in the Alps is the Wi-Fi signal there? Forget about streaming; you're just trying to send a text..
• Headline: DR. ERNEST TEMPLIN. Impact: Dr. Ernest Templin's contributions to medicine may have inspired a future generation of doctors, who, in turn, might have inadvertently led to the rise of the anti-vaccine movement. Thanks, Templin!. Fact: Fun fact: the only thing more complex than Dr. Templin's medical journals is the average person's understanding of how vaccines work..
• Headline: JAMES H. OAKES. Impact: James H. Oakes may have influenced future generations of Oak-based puns, leading to an entire genre of dad jokes that somehow still manage to be cringeworthy.. Fact: Did you know that Oakes had a brother who was a lumberjack? No, really; they were just 'rooting' for each other..
• Headline: SOVIET SAYS NAVY HAS ATOMIC EDGE; Warns U.S. It Has More and Faster Submarines of Missile-Firing Type Soviet Says Its Navy Has Edge Over U.S. in Atom Submarines. Impact: The Soviet claim of having an atomic edge over the U.S. sparked a lengthy arms race, which ultimately led to countless spy novels, movies, and a very awkward game of nuclear poker that nobody wanted to play.. Fact: Did you know that submarines are just really fancy underwater buses? And we all know how much fun bus rides can be—especially when they’re armed with missiles..
• Headline: HUBERT J. O'NEILL. Impact: Hubert J. O'Neill's name might have inspired countless bureaucratic jobs where people continue to be confused about who they are and what they're doing—thank you, Hubert!. Fact: Fun fact: O'Neill's name is so common in history that it’s also the name of every other boring meeting you've ever attended..
• Headline: City Mission Picks Harlem Head. Impact: The appointment of G V Thorne as Harlem director signaled a shift in community leadership, eventually leading to a series of town hall meetings that would make even the most enthusiastic civic planner cry.. Fact: Did you know that ‘G V’ stands for 'Great Vibes'? Just kidding, it’s probably something way less exciting like 'George Victor'..