JUNE 28, 1961

Full News Archive

• Headline: Patrolman Admits to Ammunition Theft. Impact: This patrolman's guilty plea sets off a series of events that leads to the creation of stricter gun laws and a secret underground cult of ammunition enthusiasts who just can't seem to get it together.. Fact: Fun fact: If you ever need a new hobby, stealing ammunition for a cult is probably not on the list of great ideas. Just saying..
• Headline: SOBLEN DEMANDS TO SEE F.B.I. FILES; U.S. Fights Move as Threat to Its Spy Prosecutions. Impact: This legal tussle over FBI files leads to a series of spy movies where the plots are so convoluted that future generations believe espionage involves more 'cloak and dagger' than actual intelligence work.. Fact: Did you know that the FBI has more files than most libraries? They’re just not as fun to read..
• Headline: SEAMEN MAPPING COURT STRATEGY; To Cite Taft-Hartley Views of Kennedy and Goldberg. Impact: The seamen’s court strategy inadvertently inspires a bestselling series of legal thrillers that make lawyers seem like rock stars—because who doesn’t want to read about contract disputes at sea?. Fact: Fun fact: Taft-Hartley was originally a name for a dance move. Just kidding, but wouldn’t that be amazing?.
• Headline: The Proceedings In Washington. Impact: This $200 million loan approval causes an unforeseen housing boom, leading to a future where even the most mundane mortgage applications become the plot of reality TV shows.. Fact: Did you know that the U.S. housing market is so complicated that even the houses have PhDs in finance?.
• Headline: Bethlehem Gets Navy Order. Impact: Bethlehem's Navy order leads to a future naval arms race, where ships are equipped with increasingly ridiculous features like hot tubs and all-you-can-eat buffets.. Fact: Fun fact: $20.8 million is about how much it costs to feed a small country for a month—if only they could use those ships for something other than warfare!.
• Headline: Bonn Said to Pick New Navy Chief. Impact: Zenker's appointment as naval chief leads to a series of bizarre naval strategies that involve more tea parties than actual battles, resulting in a new era of naval diplomacy.. Fact: Did you know that the German Navy once tried to host a 'Nautical Tea Time'? Spoiler alert: it didn’t go well..
• Headline: I.L.O. HEAD OPPOSES A NEUTRAL AGENCY. Impact: Morse's opposition to a neutral agency causes future international organizations to become so politically charged that they eventually require their own reality show to keep things civil.. Fact: Fun fact: The International Labor Organization was once just a group of people trying to figure out who could take the longest coffee break..
• Headline: Cornerstone Is Laid for Lincoln Tower Apartments. Impact: The laying of the Lincoln Tower Apartments cornerstone leads to an architectural trend of buildings named after presidents, resulting in the future's most confusing real estate market.. Fact: Did you know that in the future, people will argue over which president had the best apartment complex? Spoiler: it's not Lincoln..