MAY 27, 1961

Full News Archive

• Headline: C.I.A. House Unit Urged for Discretion. Impact: The House unit's decision to go lightly on the CIA sparked a series of events where future leaders decided that transparency was overrated. This led to the invention of the phrase 'plausible deniability' and a thriving industry in conspiracy theories involving lizard people.. Fact: Did you know that the CIA once tried to train cats to be spies? Spoiler: they were terrible at it..
• Headline: Missile Lag No More: US Boosts Production. Impact: By eliminating the ICBM lag, the U.S. unwittingly set the stage for all future arms races, which immediately became a popular Olympic sport among world leaders, complete with sponsorships from defense contractors.. Fact: Did you know that ICBM actually stands for 'I Can't Believe it's Missile'? Just kidding, it’s Intercontinental Ballistic Missile—but wouldn't that be a fun twist?.
• Headline: Dock Strike Ends in Chile. Impact: The end of the dock strike in Chile led to increased shipping traffic, which inadvertently caused the creation of a new breed of seagulls that are now known for their brazen thefts of snacks from unsuspecting tourists.. Fact: Fun fact: Seagulls are basically the raccoons of the ocean. They’ll steal your fries right off your plate without a second thought!.
• Headline: Atlas Success in Test. Impact: The success of the Atlas missile test paved the way for future tech advancements, including the eventual creation of the smartphone—because who wouldn’t want to carry around a tiny missile in their pocket?. Fact: Did you know that the Atlas missile was originally designed to carry nuclear warheads? Talk about a heavy payload!.
• Headline: Triangle Publications. Impact: Triangle Publications' acquisition led to an explosion of media conglomerates, which eventually resulted in all the news being owned by just a few companies, creating the perfect storm for conspiracy theorists to thrive.. Fact: Did you know the triangle is the strongest shape? Too bad it couldn’t keep journalism from being a bit wobbly these days..
• Headline: KENNEDY TO TELL KHRUSHCHEV VETO PERILS DISARMING; Soviet Ban on Inspection Shadows World's Hopes, President Will Say DETERMINED STAND SET Moscow Demands Total Ban on Nuclear Explosions in New Turn at Geneva KENNEDY TO WARN RUSSIANS ON ARMS. Impact: Kennedy's warning about disarmament set off a chain reaction of nuclear negotiations that would eventually lead to the creation of more secret treaties than your average spy novel. Who knew diplomacy could be this dramatic?. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'nuclear option' has nothing to do with actual nuclear weapons? It's just what Congress calls it when they really want to get their way..