APRIL 11, 1961

Full News Archive

• Headline: Understanding Realty Tax Data Procedures. Impact: This manual detailed tax procedures effectively set off a chain reaction, leading to the rise of tax consultants who would one day charge you an arm and a leg for doing what this book explains. The irony is delicious. Fact: The tax code is so complicated that some people think 'deduction' is what you do when your spouse asks why you bought a new boat.
• Headline: New 25-Story Building in San Juan. Impact: The construction of a 25-story building in Puerto Rico inadvertently led to an influx of tourists, who then demanded more piña coladas, thus forever changing the beverage landscape of the island. Fact: The tallest building in Puerto Rico is not a hotel but a monument to the power of good marketing and even better rum.
• Headline: House Defense Bill Proposes Significant Funding. Impact: This defense bill not only authorized funds for new aircraft but also inspired a generation of lawmakers to believe that money can literally buy you air superiority—or at least a really cool toy. Fact: Just think, if they had just invested that money in a hot dog stand, they could have funded the world's largest sausage fest instead.
• Headline: 14,000-MILE MERCY HOP; Navy Plane Flies Russian to U.S. Base in Antarctic. Impact: The 14,000-mile mercy hop not only showcased military capability but also created a bizarre trend of extreme travel, where people were inspired to take 'mercy hops' for charity, often resulting in awkward family reunions. Fact: If you ever wanted to go to Antarctica, just remember that the Navy might not be interested in flying you there unless you have a really good reason—like saving a penguin or two.
• Headline: Syracuse U. Gets U.S. Loan. Impact: This $3 million loan for dining facilities led to a gourmet revolution on campus, sparking a nationwide trend where college students began to expect five-star dining instead of the usual slop. Fact: Remember, college students—if you can't afford rent, just make sure to keep your dining hall open 24/7. Priorities, right?.
• Headline: Kennedy's Latin-Aid Plan Wins Praise at Parley in Argentina; Leaders of Inter-American Development Bank Stress Reforms and Self-Help With Rise in Outside Assistance. Impact: Kennedy's Latin-Aid Plan stirred excitement but ultimately led to decades of debates on foreign aid, with one side claiming it was a hand-up and the other saying it was a hand-out. Spoiler: it was both. Fact: The Inter-American Development Bank was originally conceived as a place for leaders to argue over who gets to keep the last slice of pizza.
• Headline: N.Y. Stock Exchange Nominates J. Truman Bidwell for Chairman; Independent Floor Broker to Stand for Election May 8 -- Six Governors Named. Impact: The nomination of J. Truman Bidwell as Chairman of the NYSE was the catalyst for countless boardroom dramas, inspiring a generation of corporate thrillers that would make even Shakespeare weep with envy. Fact: Bidwell's election was so thrilling that it may have inadvertently inspired the concept of reality TV—because nothing screams entertainment like watching people argue over stocks.
• Headline: Havana Shifts Militia to Pursue Rebels in West Cuba Mountains; Dogs Taken for Tracking in Province of Pinar del Rio -- Armed Clashes Are Reported in Several Regions. Impact: Havana's decision to pursue rebels led to a legendary cat-and-mouse game that would echo through history, inspiring countless movies and at least one bad video game. Fact: Dogs were involved in the tracking efforts, which means if you've ever wondered where all those missing socks went, they might just be undercover agents in Cuba.
• Headline: Guatemalan Chief Says Forces Will 'Hit' Cuba Only if Attacked; Ydigoras Denies an Invasion Against Castro Is Planned -- Times Man Readmitted. Impact: Ydigoras's declaration that forces would only 'hit' Cuba if attacked caused a ripple in diplomatic relations that ultimately led to more parties arguing about who started it, like children on a playground. Fact: Kennedy's trips to Guatemala were so frequent that he probably had a frequent flyer card with the airline, which could now be worth more than the actual trip.