APRIL 10, 1961

Full News Archive

• Headline: Albania's King Zog Passes Away. Impact: The death of Zog led to Albania's monarchy officially fading into obscurity. This, in turn, encouraged future dictators to think they could get away with anything, including but not limited to wearing a crown and a bad haircut.. Fact: Zog's full name was Ahmed Zogu, and he once declared himself 'King of the Albanians' as if that wasn't enough of a mouthful..
• Headline: Samuel Howe Pine: A Historical Figure. Impact: Samuel Howe Pine's brief mention in history may have inadvertently inspired countless people to name their children after trees, leading to an influx of 'Maple' and 'Cedar' in future generations.. Fact: Naming conventions were taken very seriously back then; if you didn't have a name, you were literally just 'the guy who doesn't have a name.'.
• Headline: Heat Discovery Impacts Mohole Project. Impact: The discovery of heat in the Mohole Project led to scientists wearing sunglasses and sunscreen while drilling. Thanks to this, the next generation of geologists became the most well-protected bunch on the planet.. Fact: The Mohole Project was an ambitious attempt to drill through the Earth's crust, which is much more than what most of us achieve on a Saturday afternoon..
• Headline: CASTRO FOES MAP MULTIPLE FORAYS WITH GUERRILLAS; Rebels Said to Put Stress on Small-Scale Raids Instead of a Major Invasion INTERNAL RISING IS KEY Revolutionary Group Steps Up Landings of Infiltrators -- Units Leaving Here CASTRO FOES MAP MULTIPLE FORAYS. Impact: The guerrilla tactics of Castro's foes inspired countless Hollywood movies, forever skewing public perception of revolutions to include obligatory slow-motion explosions and catchy soundtracks.. Fact: You can thank these rebels for the 'cool revolutionary' trope that made leather jackets and berets the must-have fashion items for wannabe rebels everywhere..
• Headline: EICHMANN COURT GETS SOLID GUARD; Three Rings of Israel Police Protect Ex-Nazi for Trial Starting Tomorrow EICHMANN COURT GET SOLID GUARD. Impact: Eichmann's trial changed the way the world views the Holocaust, making it impossible for future generations to forget. This resulted in a global movement towards education and remembrance, which was definitely not what he was hoping for.. Fact: Eichmann tried to defend himself by claiming he was just following orders. Spoiler alert: that defense didn't really work out for him..
• Headline: Murray McConnel Dies at 65; Industrialist Had Served C.I.A.. Impact: McConnel's CIA ties added a twist to industrialist biographies, leading conspiracy theorists to imagine a secret society of mustached men in dark suits plotting world domination over drinks.. Fact: The CIA's involvement in mundane industries has led to a lot of speculation; I mean, who knew that the paper clip industry had such covert operations?.
• Headline: Pentagon's Outlook; Speed Is the Keynote of New Trends Pointing to Greater Deterrent Forces. Impact: The Pentagon's new trends of speed and reorganization foreshadowed the chaotic yet somehow efficient bureaucratic nightmare that is today's military. It’s like they’re trying to set a world record for the most paperwork in the least amount of time.. Fact: The Pentagon is so large that if it were a country, it would have its own GDP. Just imagine the bureaucratic red tape!.
• Headline: 2 EARTHQUAKES JOLT AREA IN CALIFORNIA. Impact: The earthquakes in California led to an increase in earthquake preparedness, turning the state into a hub of disaster kits and overly cautious homeowners who now store a year’s supply of canned beans.. Fact: California's seismic activity is so frequent that residents have developed a sixth sense for predicting when to grab their surfboards or their emergency kits..
• Headline: Macmillan in Ottawa. Impact: Macmillan's meetings in Ottawa further cemented the 'let's be polite and talk about the weather' approach to diplomacy, ensuring that future leaders would discuss issues while secretly judging each other's ties.. Fact: Meeting with Canadian Prime Ministers is like attending a polite tea party where no one dares to bring up the actual issues at hand..