FEBRUARY 22, 1961

Full News Archive

• Headline: End of Stork Club Picketing by N.L.R.B.. Impact: The end of the picketing at the Stork Club led to a sudden influx of patrons, who only wanted to enjoy overpriced cocktails without the guilt of labor disputes on their conscience. This, in turn, caused a spike in cocktail culture, leading to the rise of mixology and the modern hipster bar scene. So, thanks a lot, N.L.R.B.!. Fact: The Stork Club was a hotspot for celebrities in the 1940s and 50s. You know, when you could smoke in bars and not be judged for it.
• Headline: Bishop's Opposition to School Funding Bill. Impact: The bishop's disappointment sparked a series of educational reforms that ultimately led to the creation of a 'School Choice' movement. This movement, however, was so twisted it led to parents fighting over which overpriced private institution could ruin their children's lives first. Fact: Bishops have been known to have strong opinions on education, but who knew they were also amateur legislators?.
• Headline: Recount Ordered for Indiana House Elections. Impact: The recount in Indiana led to a series of election disputes that inspired future politicians to take their electoral grievances to Twitter. Thanks to this event, we now have the delightful spectacle of politicians arguing over votes from decades ago. Fact: Recounts have become so common that they should come with their own reality show: 'Recount Wars: The Vote Awakens.'.
• Headline: HIGH COURT HEARS DU PONT'S APPEAL; Company, Arguing Antitrust Case, Seeks to Retain General Motors Stock. Impact: Du Pont's appeal and antitrust case set a precedent that made corporate lawyers' lives a little more complicated. This complexity ultimately led to the creation of a cottage industry of lawyers specializing in corporate loopholes, which just goes to show that every dark cloud has a silver lining — as long as you're willing to pay for it. Fact: Du Pont was founded in 1802, which means they've had over 200 years to perfect the art of corporate shenanigans.
• Headline: BUSINESS LEADERS WARNED BY HOFFA; He Tells Westchester Units Secondary Boycott Ban Stirs Unions to Merge. Impact: Hoffa's warning about secondary boycotts led to a frenzy of union mergers, resulting in a snowball effect that would ultimately give birth to the 'Labor Supergroup' — a union that could also tour with a rock band. Because nothing says solidarity like singing power ballads together. Fact: Jimmy Hoffa was once one of the most powerful union leaders in America, and now he’s just a ghost in the labor movement, literally and metaphorically.
• Headline: 10,000 IN RANGOON RIOT AGAINST U.S.; Burmese Troops Open Fire on Mob Outside Embassy Burmese Troops Fire on 10,000 Demonstrating at U.S. Embassy. Impact: The riot in Rangoon against the U.S. Embassy sparked a wave of anti-American sentiment that echoed through decades, leading to a series of diplomatic faux pas that made it a challenge for American ambassadors to find a decent parking spot at embassies worldwide. Fact: Rioters engaging in protests often find their cause overshadowed by the chaos, leading to the unfortunate irony that they often achieve the opposite of their intended message.
• Headline: SCHOOL BILL PASSED; It Would Ease Curbs Here on Board of Education Choices. Impact: The passing of the school bill allowed for greater flexibility in education appointments, paving the way for a future where school boards would be filled with political cronies instead of educators. Who needs qualified teachers anyway?. Fact: Nothing says 'education reform' like giving more power to local politicians who have never set foot in a classroom.