DECEMBER 3, 1960

Full News Archive

• Headline: 1962 Vote Fraud Concerns in Chicago. Impact: The court suit in Illinois set a legal precedent that led to the eventual creation of the 'Vote Fraud Olympics' where states compete to see who can create the most convoluted voting regulations. Spoiler: Illinois is a perennial champion.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'vote fraud' has become a favorite pastime in political circles, much like bingo but with a lot more yelling?.
• Headline: Guatemalan Envoy Loses Immunity Case. Impact: The denial of immunity for the Guatemalan envoy triggered a series of diplomatic spats that resulted in a secret underground network of diplomats meeting in basements to play poker instead of negotiating treaties.. Fact: Fun fact: Diplomatic immunity is like a get-out-of-jail-free card, except when it's not. In this case, it was definitely not..
• Headline: Billingsley and Stork Club License Hearing. Impact: Billingsley’s struggle with police identity cards created a black market for fake police badges, leading to a new wave of 'citizen patrols' who think they're the law but are really just overly enthusiastic security guards.. Fact: Did you know that the Stork Club was once the hottest spot for celebrities and mobsters? Now it’s just a quirky trivia question at awkward dinner parties..
• Headline: ESTABLISH SAFETY UNIT; Eisenhower Signs Order for Interdepartmental Unit. Impact: Eisenhower's creation of the safety unit sparked a nationwide obsession with safety regulations, eventually leading to the mandatory 'bubble wrap' suit for all government employees. You can never be too careful!. Fact: Did you know that Eisenhower was really just trying to keep his golf balls safe? The safety unit was a cover-up!.
• Headline: THIRD OF FIREMEN SEEK OUTSIDE JOB; 3,000 Eligible Men, Nearly All Who Applied, Given Cavanagh's Permission. Impact: The mass exodus of firemen seeking outside jobs forced cities to consider hiring cats as their new fire safety officers, simply because they are less likely to complain about low pay.. Fact: Fun fact: Cats have a higher survival rate in fires than humans, which explains why they often have their own fan clubs!.
• Headline: TEST PILOT SAVED; Picked Up by Helicopter Off L.I. Minutes After Crash. Impact: The rescue of the test pilot became a legend, inspiring a new reality show titled 'Test Pilots: Crash and Rescue' where contestants compete to survive the most ridiculous aviation mishaps.. Fact: Did you know that every time a test pilot survives a crash, a new action movie gets greenlit? Hollywood loves a good explosion!.
• Headline: GAMBLERS' LAWYER TO RESIGN FROM BAR. Impact: The resignation of the gamblers' lawyer led to a series of dramatic courtroom scenes that could rival any soap opera, forever embedding a love for courtroom dramas in American pop culture.. Fact: Did you know that lawyers resigning from the bar is like the modern-day equivalent of a rock star leaving a band? Drama, drama, drama!.
• Headline: BOMBS SHAKE HAVANA; Chauffeur Held After Blast at Palace of Justice. Impact: The bombings in Havana inadvertently led to a new trend in bomb-proof fashion, with designers scrambling to create chic yet functional bomb-proof vests that are now all the rage on the runway.. Fact: It turns out that the only thing that explodes more than a bomb in Havana is the number of fashion faux pas at a gala event in the same area..
• Headline: KURILES BUZZING CITED; U.S., Reporting Soviet Passes, Bids Fliers Shun Islands. Impact: The buzz from Soviet fighters sparked an international conspiracy theory that the pilots were actually on a secret mission to steal American recipes from the skies, leading to the Great Burger War of the 1970s.. Fact: Did you know that ‘buzzing’ is just a fancy term for 'trying to show off'? It’s like when your neighbor revs his engine at 2 AM..