NOVEMBER 27, 1960

Full News Archive

• Headline: U.S. Auto Makers Expand Internationally. Impact: This move led to a global obsession with American cars, which eventually caused a rise in car-themed reality shows. Who knew that the fate of automotive reality television hinged on a few executives deciding to sell cars overseas?. Fact: Did you know that the first car was invented in 1886? So, you know, only 80 years later did anyone think 'Hey, let’s sell these bad boys overseas!'.
• Headline: MMP Challenges Coast Guard Navigation Testing. Impact: This opposition sparked a series of debates that eventually led to the invention of the modern-day escape room, where people could pretend they were navigating through maritime laws while actually just trying to find the exit.. Fact: Did you know that 'navigational rules' are not a set of instructions on how to navigate a Tinder date? Just checking..
• Headline: Museum Relights Gas Lamp Era With Theatre Posters of the Past. Impact: The resurgence of interest in gas lamps led to an underground movement of hipsters trying to recreate the 'authentic' 19th-century experience, complete with questionable hygiene and an aversion to electricity.. Fact: Gas lamps were once the height of modern technology; now they’re just an aesthetic choice for your overpriced café..
• Headline: IKEDA'S MAJORITY IS POST-WAR HIGH. Impact: Ikeda's post-war majority inspired future politicians to chase after numbers, leading to the rise of political campaigns that literally just throw out big stats and hope no one asks for context.. Fact: Having a majority is like having the biggest slice of cake; it doesn't really matter if nobody wants to eat it..
• Headline: CAPITOL'S PAGES 6 A.M. SCHOLARS; Their Classes Start Early and End at 10:30 but They Often Work at Night. Impact: These early-bird pages grew up to be either politicians or insomniacs, both of whom contribute to the ongoing cycle of political drama and late-night TV shows for our entertainment.. Fact: Being a page sounds glamourous until you realize it’s basically a glorified errand-runner with a side of early morning existential dread..
• Headline: REVISED ZONING LAW PROPOSED IN ORANGE. Impact: This proposed zoning law led to the formation of a secret society of zoning enthusiasts who meet in basements to discuss the finer points of land use, proving that even bureaucracy can have a cult following.. Fact: Zoning laws are like the adult version of 'Do Not Enter' signs. So thrilling, right?.
• Headline: Industries Holding Timberlands Spur Use for Public Recreation; INDUSTRIES SPUR USES OF FORESTS. Impact: The push for public recreation in forests led to a boom in hiking boots and outdoor selfies, eventually resulting in a generation that believes they can survive anything as long as they have an Instagram account.. Fact: Did you know that forests are nature's way of making you feel small and insignificant? Thanks, trees!.