NOVEMBER 24, 1960

Full News Archive

• Headline: Failed Bonn Talks and U.S. Mission Split. Impact: The failure of the Bonn Talks sent shockwaves through diplomatic circles, leading to a series of increasingly bizarre negotiations. One can only imagine that at least one future world leader took a wrong turn at Bonn and ended up at a karaoke bar instead, inadvertently launching the 'Sing for Peace' initiative.. Fact: The last time a U.S. mission split this badly, it involved a pizza order gone wrong. Apparently, 'no anchovies' can be a serious diplomatic issue..
• Headline: NYC Census Check Dispute Explained. Impact: The city census check challenges could have led to a nationwide trend of people faking their ages to avoid taxes. Imagine a world where everyone is perpetually 29! That could have sparked a midlife crisis epidemic.. Fact: Census checks are like the world's least interesting detective stories—everyone's involved, but nobody wants to talk about it..
• Headline: MACMILLAN SEES POPE IN VATICAN; Pontiff, Welcoming Briton for 25-Minute Parley, Hails His Efforts for Peace. Impact: Macmillan's meeting with the Pope may have inadvertently led to a new line of papal merchandise. 'WWMD' bracelets (What Would Macmillan Do?) became a hit among the peace-loving hipsters of the time.. Fact: The Vatican now has a 'Peace Ambassador' program, which is just a fancy way of saying they send someone to the UN to look serious in a suit..
• Headline: Greenwich Police Reject 6-Day Week With $1,155 Extra. Impact: By rejecting the six-day workweek, Greenwich Police inadvertently inspired the eventual rise of the four-day workweek. Thanks to their dedication, the world learned that long weekends can lead to less crime—who knew?. Fact: The Greenwich Police have since been known for their impressive ability to turn down overtime offers while mastering the art of looking busy..
• Headline: DIET PILL RULED FRAUD; Kansas Judge Says Regimen Tablets May Be Harmful. Impact: The ruling against the diet pill may have initiated the Great 'Clean Eating' Movement of the 1970s. People began to believe that kale smoothies could save the world, which led to an unprecedented spike in smoothie bar openings.. Fact: Regimen tablets were so bad that even the FDA considered rebranding them as 'mood enhancers'—because if you're not losing weight, you might as well be happier about it..
• Headline: JETPORT FAVORED IN ORANGE COUNTY; Business, Labor and Banking Leaders in Area 45 Miles North of City Back Plan PORT AUTHORITY SILENT But If Appears Pleased With Reaction There -- Boon to Development Seen. Impact: The jetport favored in Orange County eventually turned into a hotspot for celebrity sightings, leading to a bizarre reality show about jet-setting influencers. It’s said that the first draft of the show was titled 'Keeping Up with the Jetsons.'. Fact: The Port Authority's silence is legendary—it's basically the government version of the 'silent treatment' when things don't go their way..
• Headline: Norstad's Plan Gains. Impact: Norstad's plan gaining traction may have set off a chain reaction of military strategies—forever leading to the invention of the infamous 'strategic coffee break' during meetings.. Fact: The only thing Norstad's plan really gained was an increased supply of coffee and a reputation for being the most caffeinated strategist in history..