NOVEMBER 20, 1960

Full News Archive

• Headline: Yugoslavia Mends Ties With Italy and Austria. Impact: As Yugoslavia cozied up to its former foes, a butterfly flapped its wings and sparked a series of increasingly awkward dinners across Europe, ultimately leading to an international potluck where everyone tried to bring their most embarrassing dish. Fact: Did you know that political dinner parties are actually a great way to avoid discussing real issues? Just ask any world leader!.
• Headline: Saulnier Questions Dollar Devaluation. Impact: Saulnier's skepticism about the dollar's devaluation led to a decade of economists arguing passionately over coffee, while the rest of us just hoped our wallets wouldn’t disappear. Fact: Economists are like magicians—always making money disappear but never revealing their secrets!.
• Headline: SARAH LAWRENCE BOARD; Six Are Elected Trustees by College for Women. Impact: The election of these trustees sparked a movement for women’s education that eventually led to the invention of the ‘I’m Too Smart for This’ eye roll. Fact: Fun fact: Every time a woman gets elected to a board, a man somewhere loses his ability to listen.
• Headline: L.I. GROUP SPEEDS 1648 RESTORATION; But Thomas Halsey Cottage in Southampton Still Needs Interior Furnishings. Impact: As restoration efforts sped up, a time traveler from 1648 popped in to critique the lack of furniture, inadvertently inspiring future generations to prioritize comfort over authenticity. Fact: Did you know that most historical homes are just like your grandma's house? Full of stuff nobody really understands, yet everyone feels nostalgic about?.
• Headline: Soup -- or Spinach?; From Red China comes a small story -- with a big punch line -- about an imperial meal.. Impact: This culinary conundrum caused a ripple of confusion that led to the invention of the phrase 'soup-er' to describe anything remotely savory, leading to an avalanche of puns in restaurants worldwide. Fact: Spoiler alert: The real punch line is that most of us would still prefer pizza over soup any day!.
• Headline: EX-DEAN RETURNS TO HIS CLASSROOM; Dr. Phenix Says He Found College Administration Too Restricting. Impact: Dr. Phenix’s return to teaching inspired countless other deans to ditch their admin roles, leading to a nationwide shortage of people willing to sit in meetings and talk about budgets. Fact: Fun fact: If you ever want to see a dean break into a sprint, just mention a surprise budget meeting!.
• Headline: Dutch Are Fifth in Shipbuilding With Population of 11,000,000. Impact: The Dutch shipbuilding success led to a mysterious rise in boat parties and a subsequent decline in personal hygiene standards in the 1960s—because who has time to shower when you're sailing?. Fact: Who knew that with a population like that, they could build ships faster than they can find someone to actually sail them?.
• Headline: U.S. HEIRESS NOW A NUN; Convert, a Grandmother, Joins New Guinea Order. Impact: Her decision to join a convent created a worldwide trend of wealthy individuals seeking simpler lives, resulting in an unexpected boom in the thrift shop industry. Fact: Did you know that even nuns sometimes have to deal with the hard choice of 'to shop or not to shop'? Apparently, it's a real dilemma!.