SEPTEMBER 16, 1960

Full News Archive

• Headline: U.N. Security Council Debate on Congo. Impact: The debate in the U.N. about Hammarskjold's confidence led to a chain reaction that ultimately inspired generations of diplomats to use flowery language instead of actually solving problems. Thanks, U.N.!. Fact: Did you know that 'full confidence' is just diplomatic code for 'we're trying to look busy while nothing gets done'?.
• Headline: WBAZ Refuses to Air Khrushchev News. Impact: WBAZ's decision to ignore Khrushchev sparked a trend of media outlets ignoring world leaders, which eventually led to the rise of influencers being treated like actual politicians. Thanks for that, WBAZ!. Fact: Ignoring Khrushchev was the precursor to ignoring your mother’s calls; both lead to existential crises..
• Headline: POPES' INDICTMENT ASSAILED AS VAGUE. Impact: The vague indictment against the Popes led to a revolution in legal jargon, inspiring lawyers everywhere to create documents that no one understands, thus keeping their jobs secure.. Fact: Want to know how to sound smart without saying anything? Just write a legal document; it’s a masterpiece of vagueness!.
• Headline: TRANSPORT NEWS: AIR PILOTS CURBED; Federal Injunction Forbids Southern Airport Boycott -- U.S. Ship Use Urged. Impact: The federal injunction against the pilots' boycott created a precedent for future labor disputes, ultimately leading to the bizarre world where pilots would rather fly with broken wings than face a legal battle.. Fact: Airline pilots are the only group that can legally strike without ever leaving the ground. Quite the paradox, isn't it?.
• Headline: Castro Can't Find Lodging Here; One Hotel Cancels Reservation; CASTRO CAN'T FIND HOTEL ROOM HERE. Impact: Castro's hotel woes became a cautionary tale for future world leaders about the importance of good PR; after all, no one wants to be the leader who can't find a room!. Fact: Who knew that a hotel cancellation could spark a diplomatic crisis? Next time you get dropped by Airbnb, think of Castro!.
• Headline: O.A.S. ECONOMIST OUT; Morales Dismissed on Policy Issues, Security Says. Impact: Morales' dismissal from the OAS sparked a series of economic debates that eventually led to the creation of the phrase 'you can't fire me, I quit', inspiring disgruntled employees everywhere.. Fact: In the world of economics, getting dismissed is just another way of saying 'you're too smart for this job.'.
• Headline: U.S. IS CRITICIZED IN AIR-TALK DELAY; Lack of Progress Seen on Scandinavian Issue of Cut in Future Capacity. Impact: The criticism of the U.S. in air-talk delays led to a long-standing tradition of bureaucratic red tape, which still plagues air travel today. Thanks, past politicians!. Fact: The only thing slower than U.S. air-talk negotiations? A turtle with a hangover..
• Headline: 2,239 TREES FELLED BY HURRICANE HERE. Impact: The hurricane that felled 2,239 trees became a rallying point for environmentalists who argued that hurricanes are nature's way of saying 'less deforestation, please!'. Fact: Tree tax deductions were invented to help Americans feel better about their loss. Nothing says 'I care' like getting a tax break, right?.