SEPTEMBER 15, 1960

Full News Archive

• Headline: Rising Anti-Castro Forces in Cuba. Impact: The rise of anti-Castro forces in Cuba may have inadvertently led to a revolution in cigar quality control, which shaped the future of premium cigars and led to the rise of hipsters everywhere. Fact: The Cuban Liberation Alliance was basically the original 'freedom fighters' — just without the Instagram filters and artisanal coffee.
• Headline: West Germany Boycotts Leipzig Fair. Impact: This boycott of the Leipzig Fair was the catalyst for West Germany's commitment to making trade agreements as confusing as possible, which ultimately led to a complex web of tariffs that even a seasoned diplomat would struggle to decipher. Fact: In the world of international relations, boycotting a fair is essentially like refusing to attend a party because your ex will be there — only with more paperwork and less chance of awkward small talk.
• Headline: MACMILLAN TRIP TO U.N. WEIGHED; Prime Minister May Attend Meeting of Assembly to Reply to Khrushchev. Impact: Macmillan's potential trip to the U.N. could have changed the course of British-American relations, possibly leading to a future where tea was considered a diplomatic weapon. Fact: Eisenhower and Khrushchev's plans were probably just a front for their real agenda: who could throw the best diplomatic dinner party with the most awkward small talk.
• Headline: Longshoremen Set To Boo Khrushchev; Won't Dock Vessel; JEERS WILL GREET KHRUSHCHEV SHIP. Impact: The longshoremen's decision to boo Khrushchev may have set a precedent for future political protests, perhaps inspiring a line of 'Khrushchev booing' merchandise that never quite took off. Fact: Booing a world leader is a time-honored tradition that continues today — just look at any sporting event where the home team is losing.
• Headline: Soviet Asks Intervention. Impact: The USSR's request for intervention on travel curbs might have inadvertently inspired a whole new genre of spy novels about forbidden travel and international intrigue, leading to a boom in the literary world. Fact: Travel restrictions are the original 'Do Not Enter' signs — but with far more paperwork and a lot less chance of finding a good hotel.
• Headline: 2 STATES PERILED BY STORM IN GULF; 150-Mile Hurricane Winds Drive Toward Coasts of Alabama and Florida New Hurricane Rages in Gulf, Menacing Alabama and Florida. Impact: The hurricane threatening Alabama and Florida might have prompted the creation of the modern disaster preparedness plan, which eventually led to the rise of overpriced bottled water and canned goods in grocery stores. Fact: In the world of hurricanes, the worst part isn't the storm itself; it's the panic buying that leaves you with 47 cans of corn and no toilet paper.
• Headline: HADASSAH ADOPTS $9,875,000 BUDGET; Most of 1960-61 Funds Are Earmarked for Israel -- New Officers Elected. Impact: Hadassah's substantial budget dedicated to Israel may have been a precursor to the modern crowdfunding movement, inspiring future generations to raise money for everything from humanitarian aid to the latest vegan cafe. Fact: A budget of nearly 10 million dollars is the kind of financial commitment most people only dream about — right after they finish their morning coffee and forget to pay their bills.
• Headline: U. N. CHIEF REPLIES TO SOVIET ATTACK; He Is Angered by Charge That He Is Imperalist 'Tool' in the Congo U.N. CHIEF REPLIES TO SOVIET ATTACK. Impact: Hammarskjold's response to Soviet attacks could have been the spark for future U.N. leaders to develop a thicker skin, leading to an increase in diplomatic sass that we definitely need more of today. Fact: Being called an 'imperialist tool' is a compliment in the world of international diplomacy — it's like being told your shoes are too flashy at a black-tie event.