SEPTEMBER 13, 1960

Full News Archive

• Headline: Suspension of 23 Wire Inspectors. Impact: After 23 wire inspectors were suspended, a secret society of electricians emerged, vowing to overthrow the oppressive regime of city inspectors. This led to the establishment of a parallel universe where wire inspectors wielded more power than elected officials.. Fact: It's amazing how a few inspectors can stir up so much drama. Who knew electrical work could be the catalyst for a revolution?.
• Headline: Gideon Putnam Hotel Strike Concluded. Impact: The resolution of the hotel strike sparked a nationwide trend where hotel operators began to hire psychic mediators to foresee potential strikes before they happened. This led to the founding of the International Psychic Hotel Conference in 1975.. Fact: Strikes are just like bad Wi-Fi: they seem to happen at the worst possible time..
• Headline: U.N. CHIEF OPPOSES A STANDING FORCE; Hammarskjold Report Says Permanent Military Unit Is Not Necessary U.N. Secretary General Opposes Formation of a Military Force. Impact: Hammarskjold's opposition to a standing force led to the formation of a 'United Nations Peaceful Yoga Retreat', where world leaders practice downward dog instead of war strategies. Surprisingly, it was quite effective.. Fact: Preventive diplomacy? More like 'let's hope they don't notice we’re just doing yoga while the world burns.'.
• Headline: Tax Trial of Gangster Ordered. Impact: The gangster's tax trial became the first of its kind to inspire a reality TV show, 'Taxing Times', where criminals tried to outsmart the IRS while making breakfast in prison. It was a hit for two seasons.. Fact: Who knew that gangsters had to worry about taxes? I guess crime doesn’t pay… unless you’re good at math..
• Headline: TITO AND NASSER MAY VISIT CAPITAL; Strong Protests by Public Feared in Washington U.S WEIGHS BIDS TO TITO, NASSER. Impact: The potential visits from Tito and Nasser sparked an underground movement of political cartoonists who began sketching memes featuring world leaders in questionable situations, eventually leading to today’s social media culture.. Fact: Imagine if Tito and Nasser had Instagram—#WorldLeadersLookingAwkward would be a trending topic..
• Headline: BISHOP DEPORTED BY SOUTH AFRICA; Anglican Foe of Segregation Leaves 2 Days After His Return From London. Impact: The secret deportation of the bishop became a rallying cry for activists, inspiring the creation of international human rights organizations that now operate under the motto: 'No Bishop Left Behind.'. Fact: Deporting a bishop sounds like a plot twist in a really bad sitcom, doesn't it?.
• Headline: Corning Glass to Build in South. Impact: Corning Glass's new plant in the South not only revolutionized glass production but indirectly led to the development of the world's first glass-blowing college, where students are still recovering from their unique hangovers.. Fact: Building a glass factory in the South? Sounds like an invitation for every Southern grandma to ask if they can 'see through' their sweet tea glasses..