AUGUST 5, 1960

Full News Archive

• Headline: North Rhodesia Bans Racial Discrimination. Impact: The end of racial bias in North Rhodesia led to a bizarre alternate timeline where restaurants served only rainbow-colored food, and movie theaters had mandatory dance breaks to promote inclusivity. Who knew avocados could unite a nation?. Fact: Did you know that 'North Rhodesia' eventually became 'Zambia'? Talk about an upgrade from a name that sounds like a bad PowerPoint presentation!.
• Headline: GE Layoffs Impact Kentucky Operations. Impact: The layoffs at GE caused a ripple effect that led to an unexpected surge in the popularity of DIY appliance repair shows. Thanks to their suffering, our grandparents learned to fix toasters, and we all got a little less dependent on big corporations.. Fact: Did you know that GE is not just a company but also a state of mind? A mind that sometimes decides to lay off 1,800 workers for the sake of 'lagging sales.'.
• Headline: Rogers Clinches World 20-Gauge Skeet Title. Impact: W Rogers's skeet title win inspired a generation of backyard enthusiasts who thought they could be the next Olympic champion. Spoiler alert: most just ended up with broken windows and a lot of angry neighbors.. Fact: Did you know that 'skeet' is derived from a term that means 'to shoot at something'? Just like your chances of winning the lottery..
• Headline: Espinosa and Yonekura Draw. Impact: The draw between Espinosa and Yonekura sparked an international debate about the ethics of drawing in sports, leading to a whole new genre of competitive sports where no one ever wins. Welcome to the ‘Drawlympics’!. Fact: Did you know that drawing is now an Olympic event? Just kidding, but it should be. Who doesn’t want to watch people color inside the lines?.
• Headline: Joseph Vogel Predicts Rise in Foreign Operations by American Companies. Impact: Vogel's prediction about American companies making films abroad resulted in a strange but true phenomenon: Hollywood began outsourcing its drama to countries with better tax breaks, leading to an influx of Australian accents in American blockbusters.. Fact: Did you know that American companies love to film abroad? Because who wouldn’t want to pay a little less to film an action scene in a tropical paradise?.
• Headline: KADLEC, MRS. CLARK SET ARCHERY MARKS. Impact: Mrs. Kadlec and Mrs. Clark's archery marks led to an unexpected increase in archery-themed birthday parties, which in turn caused a nationwide shortage of bow and arrow supplies. Thanks, ladies!. Fact: Did you know that archery is now considered a hipster sport? Because nothing says ‘I’m cool’ like shooting arrows at targets in a plaid shirt!.
• Headline: AUSTRALIAN GIRLS CLIP TWO RECORDS; Marilyn Wilson and Medley Relay Team Break World Mark in Swim Trials. Impact: The Australian girls’ swimming records sparked an international race for the fastest swimsuit design, leading to a questionable trend where swimsuits became more like futuristic superhero costumes. Spoiler: they still couldn't swim faster than a dolphin.. Fact: Did you know that swimming records are often broken by just a fraction of a second? Talk about a nail-biting finish… or a little splash!.
• Headline: CATHOLIC MISSIONS ASK BIGGER STAFFS; Sheen Reports 6,782 From U.S. Serving Overseas -- 10% Rise in 2 Years. Impact: The increase in Catholic missionaries overseas led to an unexpected rise in the demand for 'Missionary Style' vacations, where people sought to recreate the adventurous spirit of their holy counterparts. Spoiler: it didn’t end well for some.. Fact: Did you know that the Catholic Missions are like the original global travel agency? They’ve been sending people on holy trips before it was cool!.
• Headline: SPACE SHOT TUESDAY; U.S. to Try Again to Launch Communications Satellite. Impact: The launch of Project Echo triggered a rush of satellite-based conspiracy theories, leading conspiracy theorists to argue that every time someone spoke near a satellite, they were being recorded. Spoiler: they weren’t.. Fact: Did you know that communications satellites are just glorified Frisbees in space? They don’t even get a chance to play fetch!.