JULY 20, 1960

Full News Archive

• Headline: Mitchell Rejects G.O.P. Vice President Offer. Impact: If Mitchell had accepted the GOP ticket, we might have seen the first Catholic president, leading to an alternate timeline where all politicians are required to wear rosaries instead of ties. Imagine the debates!. Fact: Did you know that in an alternate universe, Mitchell is actually a superhero known as 'The Aloof Avenger'? He fights crime by ignoring it!.
• Headline: Payola Practices Spark Regulatory Action. Impact: The payola scandal sparked a wave of legislation that led to the eventual creation of the 'Don't Payola or You'll Regret It' handbook, which is still used by musicians today, albeit as a coffee table book.. Fact: Fun fact: Payola was just a fancy term for bribery before it became the music industry's worst-kept secret. Kind of like how everyone knows you shouldn't mix tequila and bad decisions..
• Headline: Delaware's Integration Mandate of 1961. Impact: The court’s decision led to the integration of schools, which eventually opened the doors for a whole new genre of high school movies where jocks and nerds unite. Thanks, legal system!. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'grade-a-year plan' was actually a failed attempt to market a new cheese?.
• Headline: Theobald Picks Negro Principal To Be Assistant Superintendent. Impact: Mrs. Douglas's promotion could have led to a chain reaction of hiring women of color in education, resulting in a future where school principals are actually allowed to be cool and relatable. Shocking, I know!. Fact: Did you know that the first female principal in history was hired solely to prove that women could indeed do more than bake cookies?.
• Headline: TWO MORE BACK SIT-INS; Representatives Lindsay and Halpern Sign Statement. Impact: The sit-ins inspired a generation of peaceful protests, leading to a world where people would protest by sitting down instead of yelling. Imagine the quiet revolution!. Fact: Sit-ins were actually invented by people who were too tired to stand. Now that’s a protest we can all get behind!.
• Headline: SECURITY COUNCIL SENDS CUBA ISSUE TO AMERICAS UNIT; Lodge-Sobolev Clash Delays Decision -- Soviet Abstains -- O.A.S. to Report U.N. Refers Cuba's Complaint Against U.S. to Americas Unit. Impact: The U.N. sending the Cuba issue to the Americas unit may have led to a series of diplomatic misunderstandings, resulting in Cuba hosting a 'Not Inviting the U.S.' festival. Everyone loves a good festival!. Fact: Did you know that the U.N. has a secret committee dedicated to making sure no one accidentally sends an invitation to the wrong country? It’s a full-time job..
• Headline: COURT REVOKES BAIL FOR MISS TREGOFF. Impact: By revoking her bail, the court inadvertently set a precedent for future courtroom dramas where the defendant is always on the edge of their seat. Ratings skyrocketed!. Fact: Courtroom dramas are so popular now that even the judges are auditioning for roles. Who knew they had such flair for the dramatic?.
• Headline: BELGIAN SOLDIERS BEGIN PULLING OUT OF CONGO CAPITAL; Withdrawal to Be Completed Saturday -- U.N. Units From Ghana and Tunisia Patrol Belgians Leaving Leopoldville; U.N. Forces Patrolling Capital Belgian Soldiers on Guard in the Congo Capital. Impact: Belgium's withdrawal from the Congo could have inspired a trend of countries pulling out of conflicts at the first sign of trouble, leading to a world where diplomacy is just a game of musical chairs.. Fact: Did you know that the Congo was once proposed as the new headquarters for the United Nations? Apparently, they realized there were already too many chairs..
• Headline: U.S. Offer on Tests Rejected by Russian; RUSSIAN REJECTS TEST SAFEGUARDS. Impact: The rejection of the U.S. proposal could have sparked a new arms race, or perhaps just a really awkward family dinner where no one talks about politics. That’s the real tragedy.. Fact: Did you know that some people thought the Cold War was just an extended ice skating competition between the U.S. and Russia? They were sorely mistaken..