JULY 3, 1960

Full News Archive

• Headline: Leonardo da Vinci's Historic Gibraltar Stop. Impact: If da Vinci hadn't stopped in Gibraltar to charm the British officials, we might have never had the Mona Lisa gracing our museums. Imagine a world where the most famous painting was a bland landscape instead. Talk about a butterfly flapping its wings!. Fact: Da Vinci was known to be quite the charmer. Rumor has it he could sell ice to an Eskimo and a bridge to a troll.
• Headline: Remembering Gene Fowler: Author and Journalist. Impact: Fowler's passing led to an increase in journalism schools as aspiring writers scrambled to fill the gaping void left behind. This has caused a butterfly effect of uninspired articles flooding our newsfeeds for decades. Fact: Gene Fowler once said, 'Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words.' Too bad he couldn't cross out his own exit from this world.
• Headline: Legislation for Overseas Employee Equity. Impact: This bill, while seemingly mundane, led to an explosion of expatriate communities worldwide, causing future generations to endlessly debate whether to use American or local cuisine at Thanksgiving dinners. Fact: This bill made sure that Americans abroad could complain about high prices while still insisting that their coffee is better than what the locals serve. Because, of course, nothing says 'patriotism' like overpriced lattes.
• Headline: U.S. PRESTIGE LOW, KHRUSHCHEV SAYS; Premier Calls Cancellation of President's Visit to Japan a Disaster U.S. PRESTIGE LOW, KHRUSHCHEV SAYS. Impact: Khrushchev's comments sparked a series of diplomatic blunders that eventually led to a reality television show about political leaders, proving once and for all that even the most serious topics can be turned into entertainment. Fact: Khrushchev famously banged his shoe at a UN meeting. One can only imagine what he’d do with Twitter.
• Headline: 'Red Carpet' Service Planned at Toms River Basin; Boating at Its Best Available on Barnegat Bay. Impact: This ambitious boating initiative inadvertently led to a whole subculture of 'red carpet' boaters, who now refuse to dock anywhere that doesn't roll out a literal red carpet. Thanks, Toms River!. Fact: Toms River is known for its beautiful waters. Just remember, folks, not all that glitters is gold—some of it might just be algae.
• Headline: Green and Granite Hills; YANKEE KINGDOM: Vermont and New Hampshire. By Ralph Nading Hill. Illustrated by George Daly. 352 pp. New York: Harper & Bros. $5.95.. Impact: This book helped spark a fascination with the New England region, leading to an influx of tourists who would ultimately mispronounce 'Worcester' and ask where the nearest Starbucks is located. Fact: If you think Vermont and New Hampshire are all about maple syrup and skiing, just wait until you hear about their fierce rivalry over who has the best 'leaf peeping'!.
• Headline: U.S. BLAMES SOVIET FOR SNAG ON ARMS; URGES NEW TALKS; Reply to Khrushchev on Halt in Geneva Parley Says He Caused Summit Failure HERTER IS PESSIMISTIC Doubts Moscow Will Drop Call for a Transfer From 10-Nation Panel to U.N. U.S. BLAMES SOVIET FOR SNAG ON ARMS. Impact: This blame game set the stage for decades of diplomatic chess, which many argue led to the creation of more spy novels than any other topic in the 20th century. Thanks, Cold War!. Fact: If the Soviets had actually listened to the U.S. during these talks, we might have had fewer spy movies and a lot more rom-coms starring international diplomats.
• Headline: VICTIM OF BREAK-IN DIES; Peter Barra, Times Employe, Suffers a Heart Attack. Impact: The tragic events surrounding Peter Barra’s passing highlighted the need for better security measures in workplaces, leading to the modern obsession with office safety protocols that no one really understands. Fact: Peter Barra's story reminds us that life is fragile. Cherish it—unless you're in an office meeting, then just cherish the coffee.
• Headline: HALF YEAR DULL FOR COMMODITIES; Futures Prices Heid Steady, Low, but Several Items Moved Widely in June HALF YEAR DULL FOR COMMODITIES. Impact: This dullness in commodities led to investors seeking excitement in wild and wacky ventures like Beanie Babies and pet rocks, proving once again that humans thrive on chaos. Fact: The half-year report was so thrilling it could put a caffeinated squirrel to sleep. Who knew commodity trading could be the ultimate cure for insomnia?.
• Headline: Water Everywhere, But Ships Buy It From Piraeus Merchant. Impact: This quirky situation led to a booming market for bottled water on ships, which subsequently fueled the rise of ludicrously overpriced artisanal waters. Who knew that a simple merchant could impact the luxury market?. Fact: Piraeus merchant's water was so popular that it inspired a new trend: 'water tasting.' Because apparently, drinking tap water just isn't fancy enough anymore.