MAY 15, 1960

Full News Archive

• Headline: Discover the Charm of Irish Ballads. Impact: The collection of Irish street ballads sparked a newfound fascination with folk music, leading to a global trend where every hipster café now features at least one open mic night dedicated to obscure ballads. Who knew that a few tunes could result in an endless stream of poorly sung covers on social media?. Fact: Fun fact: The last time someone tried to collect all of humanity's ballads, it ended poorly. They ended up with a karaoke machine and a million broken dreams..
• Headline: Scientist's 3,000 Mice Giveaway. Impact: Dr. Mangun's 'gift' of 3,000 mice inadvertently set off a suburban mouse-raising craze that led to the Great New Jersey Mouse Uprising of the late 80s. Who would have thought that a scientist’s departure could result in an army of mice demanding cheese rights?. Fact: Did you know that mice make terrible pets? They tend to eat your homework and plot against your snacks when you're not looking..
• Headline: Whiton Professor Named. Impact: Dr. Abrams being named the first F J Whiton Professor of Eng Literature resulted in a surge of literature professors demanding fancier titles, such as 'Supreme Ruler of Poetic Wisdom' and 'Grand Poobah of Prose.'. Fact: Did you know that professors often spend more time creating their titles than actually teaching? It's a delicate balance of ego and education..
• Headline: SALVAGERS' FLAG STILL FLIES HERE; Merritt-Chapman & Scott Has Grown in 100 Years, but Keeps Marine Work. Impact: Merritt-Chapman & Scott's century of success became a case study for businesses everywhere, proving that if you just keep doing what you do for long enough, eventually someone will throw a parade in your honor—preferably with confetti and no actual purpose.. Fact: Fun fact: The salvagers once tried to salvage a parade float but ended up with a very soggy, confused elephant instead..
• Headline: SOCHI IS SERIOUS IN PURSUING FUN; Soviet Black Sea Resort Does Have Its Easier Moments, However. Impact: Sochi's pursuit of fun led to a global misconception that every winter olympics needs a party atmosphere, resulting in numerous ski resorts adopting disco balls and themed après-ski events that no one asked for.. Fact: Did you know that the last time someone pursued fun in Sochi, they ended up with a snowstorm and a very grumpy bear?.
• Headline: DUAL TAXATION; Non-Reciprocity in Levies Irks Midwesterners. Impact: The dual taxation debate ignited a fiery discourse that eventually led to Midwesterners creating their own tax system, which consisted of baked goods and potlucks—a system still in use today, though it’s mostly just for the cookies.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more complex than the tax code is trying to figure out how to make a jello salad that doesn't wiggle too much..
• Headline: 169 Couples Buy Last Of $2 Licenses to Wed. Impact: The rush for $2 marriage licenses sent shockwaves through the marriage industry, leading to a brief period where people considered eloping to save money, resulting in a dramatic increase in wedding-themed reality TV shows.. Fact: Did you know that the cost of love is inversely proportional to the number of wedding planners involved? The more planners, the more expensive the love..
• Headline: English Aces in Polo Grounds Opener Noted for Gifted, Academic Style. Impact: The noted English Aces in polo might have inspired a whole generation of kids to take up polo, only to realize that they had no horses and no idea what they were doing, ultimately leading to the rise of alternative sports like extreme ironing.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing harder than playing polo is explaining it to someone who thinks it's just fancy horse riding..
• Headline: IRAQ ENDS BOYCOTT; Arab League Aide Says Iraqis Will Be at Beirut Meeting. Impact: Iraq's return to the Arab League meetings marked the beginning of a new wave of diplomatic dinners, where awkward small talk over hummus became an art form, leading to the invention of the politically-themed potluck.. Fact: Did you know that the last time Iraq attended an Arab League meeting, they accidentally brought potato salad? It was a diplomatic disaster of epic proportions..