APRIL 13, 1960

Full News Archive

• Headline: Candles Prohibited in Brooklyn Apartment Halls. Impact: The banning of candles in dark halls led to a sudden rise in flashlight sales in Brooklyn. This not only boosted the economy but also contributed to the eventual invention of the LED light bulb, which would later save countless people from candle-related fires and awkward dinner dates in dark corners. Fact: In a related twist of fate, the first flashlight was invented just a few years later, proving that humanity just can't resist lighting things up, even in the darkest of times.
• Headline: Jersey Fare Dispute Heats Up. Impact: This fare dispute sparked a grassroots movement among commuters, who discovered the joy of carpooling, eventually leading to the invention of the modern rideshare app. Who knew a ticket argument would pave the way for avoiding awkward small talk in cars?. Fact: The term 'ride-sharing' was actually coined after this event, although it had nothing to do with sharing rides and everything to do with sharing complaints about public transport.
• Headline: Uncle Sam Diamond Exhibition Unveiled. Impact: The exhibition of the Uncle Sam diamond led to a renewed interest in gemstones, inspiring a future generation of jewel thieves. This, in turn, caused an uptick in poorly executed heists and the rise of 'the diamond heist movie' genre. Fact: The Uncle Sam diamond, while impressive, is often overshadowed by its cousin, the Hope Diamond, which has a much more interesting backstory involving curses and tragedy!.
• Headline: Senate Bid Announced. Impact: B.H. Crawford's Senate bid ended up inspiring a wave of other lesser-known candidates to run for office, resulting in the phrase 'anyone can run for office' becoming a rallying cry for the unqualified, thus shaping the political landscape for decades to come. Fact: B.H. Crawford later became famous for his infamous campaign slogan: 'Vote for me, because why not?'.
• Headline: Christy Named Counsel. Impact: A.H. Christy's appointment as counsel set off a chain reaction of legal jargon being thrown around, leading to the creation of the phrase 'lawyered up'—which is still used today by those who suddenly find themselves in over their heads. Fact: Christy later became known for his legendary courtroom battles, often likened to a game of chess where both players forgot the rules.
• Headline: Bias Ban Proposed for Britain. Impact: The proposal for a bias ban in Britain ultimately laid the groundwork for future civil rights movements. It was a slow burn, but it sparked conversations that would eventually lead to laws that made actual progress in fighting discrimination. Fact: F. Brockway's proposal was like a warm-up act for the headliner of social change, but it was still better than a lukewarm cup of tea.
• Headline: HUMPHREY PICTURES VITAL TEST AS NEAR. Impact: Humphrey's picture as a vital test for Kennedy's nomination became a turning point that sparked the era of televised political campaigns, forever changing how candidates presented themselves—goodbye, smoke-filled rooms, hello, primetime debates. Fact: Humphrey's campaign strategy involved more winks and nods than actual policies, which somehow set the stage for future candidates to rely heavily on charisma over substance.