MARCH 22, 1960

Full News Archive

• Headline: Adenauer Advocates Moral Resistance Against Communism. Impact: Adenauer's call for moral strength sparked a wave of self-righteous indignation across the West, leading to the invention of the phrase 'moral superiority'—which, funny enough, became a popular party theme for politicians who couldn't find their own moral compass.. Fact: Did you know that moral struggles often lead to moral victories? Just ask any politician—it's basically their job description!.
• Headline: Pay Rise for London Busmen. Impact: The busmen’s pay raise initiated a ripple effect that eventually led to the rise of the 'get rich slowly' philosophy. People realized that even in a bus driver’s world, it’s the little things that count—like a 1.40 raise that didn’t even cover the cost of their morning coffee.. Fact: Fun fact: If you save $1.40 a week for a year, you could buy… well, nothing of significance in today’s economy. But hey, at least you can treat yourself to a fancy cup of coffee once a week!.
• Headline: Democrats Unite for Delegate Decision. Impact: This agreement to backtrack on rifts paved the way for future Democratic leaders to master the art of compromise—setting the stage for the great 'we'll take what we can get' tradition that continues to dominate politics today.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'compromise' originated from a group of Democrats who couldn't agree on pizza toppings? They just decided to order half pepperoni and half veggie..
• Headline: HIGH COURT VOIDS 2 KENTUCKY FINES; Decides in Case Too Small for a Review in State HIGH COURT VOIDS 2 KENTUCKY FINES. Impact: The High Court's decision not to review those Kentucky fines created a precedent for future cases where 'too small to care' became the legal standard. It’s the legal equivalent of saying, 'It's not worth the trouble, just let it slide.'. Fact: Fun fact: Kentucky is famous for many things, but apparently fine laws aren't one of them. Who knew the fine print would be so… fine?.
• Headline: Laos to Increase Aid to U.N.. Impact: Laos increasing its aid to the U.N. marked the beginning of nations realizing that throwing money at problems works just about as well as throwing a tantrum. Spoiler: it usually doesn't solve anything.. Fact: Did you know that $9,000 is roughly the amount one would need to buy a decent used car? So, Laos went from car level to about 'new Honda Civic' level in aid. Who needs a new car when you can aid the world?.
• Headline: SOVIET SUGGESTS PRIORITY FOR BAN ON NUCLEAR ARMS; Says Shift in Timetable of Disarmament Plan Could Meet West's Complaints MOVE SEEN AS ADROIT Russians at Geneva Declare a Small-Blast Moratorium Should Last 4 to 5 Years SOVIET SUGGESTS NUCLEAR PRIORITY. Impact: The Soviet suggestion for a nuclear arms ban was like a kid trying to negotiate with a parent—'How about we just skip the whole 'no dessert' thing and focus on 'no nuclear war' instead?' It didn’t quite work out as planned.. Fact: Fun fact: The phrase 'nuclear disarmament' was actually coined at a dinner party where no one wanted to share their dessert. The irony is delicious!.
• Headline: AMERICAN FLIERS DOWNED BY CUBA; 2 Civilians Accused of Plot to Help 4 Foes of Castro Escape to Miami AMERICAN FLIERS DOWNED BY CUBA. Impact: The downing of American fliers by Cuba led to a series of misunderstandings that resulted in a long-standing tradition of 'we need to talk' diplomacy—where no one really wants to talk but talks anyway to avoid actual conflict.. Fact: Did you know that downing planes often results in more paperwork than actual conflict resolution? Welcome to international relations!.
• Headline: State Permits City Banks To Expand Into Suburbs; Bill Voted by Legislature and Signed by Governor After Democrats Shift BANK BILL GAINS STATE APPROVAL. Impact: The decision to allow city banks to expand into the suburbs was the beginning of a financial game of Monopoly, where the rich just kept getting richer, and everyone else had to mortgage their lives to keep up.. Fact: Did you know that in Monopoly, the most expensive property is Boardwalk? In real life, it's just trying to buy a house in any suburb, thanks to those expanding banks!.