MARCH 7, 1960

Full News Archive

• Headline: Custody Battle Over Bright Foster Child. Impact: This 'intellectual environment' debate sparked a nationwide movement for better foster care standards, ensuring kids are placed in homes where they can actually, you know, learn stuff. Who knew IQ mattered more than love?. Fact: In a stunning twist, many kids with high IQs just want to play with Lego, not solve world hunger..
• Headline: J H Case Jr Appointed Director General. Impact: J.H. Case Jr.'s appointment started a trend where people with the most generic names became wildly successful, leading to a surge in job applications from 'John Smiths' everywhere.. Fact: J.H. Case Jr. once tried to introduce himself as just 'Case', but it didn't go over well at the DMV..
• Headline: Negroes Dispersed In Alabama March; Attacked by Whites; NEGRO MARCHERS HALTED BY POLICE. Impact: This march's violence led to a nationwide increase in civil rights activism, proving once again that sometimes the worst moments can ignite the fiercest flames of change.. Fact: The term 'marching' was later redefined to include anything from protest walks to those awkward family parades in the neighborhood..
• Headline: ROCKEFELLER ASKS WIDER COVERAGE BY HEALTH PLANS; Would Make All New Group Insurance Convertible to Individual Policies END OF AGE LIMIT URGED Easier Commitment System at State Mental Hospitals Also Sought in Message ROCKEFELLER BACKS 2 INSURANCE BILLS. Impact: Rockefeller's push for expanded health coverage eventually contributed to the creation of health insurance plans that are so complicated, even a team of lawyers can't figure them out.. Fact: The phrase 'health insurance' was once just a euphemism for 'a little bit of hope.'.
• Headline: Stop-Kennedy Drive Fails; Nixon Loses Edge in Polls; Race Thus Far Helps Senator in North -- Symington Gains as Johnson Slips -- Humphrey Still Trails STOP-KENNEDY BID CALLED A FAILURE. Impact: Nixon's poll drop started a chain reaction of political strategists realizing that mudslinging is a fine art—and that no one is safe from becoming a meme.. Fact: Polls have a magical way of making politicians feel like they are on a roller coaster. Unfortunately, it’s more of a kiddie ride..
• Headline: HEBREW UNION FILLS CHAIR IN JERUSALEM. Impact: The establishment of the Biblical Archaeology chair led to an explosion of 'ancient artifacts' being sold on Etsy, creating a whole new niche market for hipster archaeologists.. Fact: Biblical archaeology is the only field where finding an ancient stone can make you both a celebrity and an instant skeptic..
• Headline: CITY HIT ON RATABLE; Accused of Under-Assessing Rockaways Slum Projects. Impact: The accusations of under-assessment spurred a wave of urban planning reforms, making sure that future slum projects were at least assessed at their actual 'very serious' value.. Fact: Cities often under-assess properties to make it seem like they're not as terrible as they are. Kind of like how people exaggerate their cooking skills on dating apps..