FEBRUARY 2, 1960

Full News Archive

• Headline: Tax Relief Initiative for Cities Approved. Impact: By backing tax aid for cities, the House inadvertently sparked a series of local government budget crises that led to cities investing in bizarre public art projects. The butterfly flaps its wings, and suddenly, your town has a giant rubber duck in the harbor.. Fact: Did you know that tax aid for cities often leads to more potholes? Yeah, because who needs smooth roads when you can fund that giant duck?.
• Headline: Army Missile Chief Installed. Impact: When Maj Gen Schomburg took command, it set off a chain reaction of increasing missile defense budgets which eventually led to the concept of laser tag being taken way too seriously in military training.. Fact: Did you know that the Army once thought of missile command as a video game? Spoiler: They lost the high score to a 10-year-old..
• Headline: Banking Unit Names Member. Impact: G.C. Texton's nomination as an honorary member of the NY banking unit started a trend of honorary memberships in bizarre fields—like 'Honorary Knight of the Spaghetti Monster'.. Fact: Did you know that banks are like bad relationships? They always want something from you but never give back!.
• Headline: BRITISH TROOP CUT IN EUROPE HINTED; London Says Economic Rift May Force Withdrawal of Men From Continent. Impact: Britain hinting at troop cuts in Europe led to a bizarre timeline where European countries began holding competitive bake-offs to win back British favor. Because who can resist a good scone?. Fact: Did you know that British troops once tried to leave Europe but got stuck in a café for tea? The real battle was over the last biscuit..
• Headline: Ft. Monmouth Chief Retires. Impact: Maj Gen Cassevant's retirement was a pivotal moment that led to the creation of retirement parties for military officers that have since evolved into elaborate themed events—think 'Retirement Luau' with hula skirts.. Fact: Did you know that the Legion of Merit is basically the military's version of a participation trophy? But, hey, at least it’s shiny!.
• Headline: TURNOUT IS HEAVY AS KERALA VOTES; Ballots to Be Counted Today in Indian State Election -- One Killed in Clash. Impact: The heavy turnout in Kerala's election and the ensuing violence sparked a series of political thriller novels that all had the same plot twist: the killer was the candidate's campaign manager.. Fact: Did you know that elections can be so intense that they sometimes require a 'no shoes' policy at polling places? Just to keep the blood off the floors!.
• Headline: Presbytery Nominates Moderator for Assembly. Impact: Rev Hawkins being nominated as the first Negro moderator led to a ripple effect of increased diversity in religious leadership, ultimately resulting in a hip new trend called 'Pulpit Pop Culture'—featuring sermons based on Netflix shows.. Fact: Did you know that churches are now competing for the best social media presence? Because nothing says 'salvation' like a viral meme!.
• Headline: KUBITSCHEK HAILS EISENHOWER VISIT; Brazilian Chief Voices Hope of New Hemisphere Unity -- Cites Closer U.S. Ties. Impact: Kubitschek’s enthusiasm for Eisenhower’s visit resulted in a phenomenon where world leaders began to embrace the idea of ‘selfie diplomacy’—which, let’s be honest, is just as important as actual diplomacy.. Fact: Did you know that Eisenhower once tried to take a selfie but ended up just capturing a photo of his left shoe? Classic politician move!.